What Does Love Mean?

So I woke up today in beautiful London! At noon. But now I am valiantly trying to stay awake so I can slay this jet lag like a dragon! Rode the tube, saw Big Ben, had a pint of Guinness and finally met my wonderful British publicist Henri in person. Henri is the very best; mama hit upon somebody who is clearly very talented. Lovely Sam Gray was my chaperone today on my adventures – a long time blog reader, Sam is amazing and we had such fun!

As Sam and I hung out, we talked about something major we have in common – motherhood – and how hard it is to maintain boundaries when one is a mum – HA – how about if I do a Madonna to you guys and start speaking about “holidays” and saying “cheers?” You have my permission to throw a bag of pudding at me if I do that!! Wait, maybe I should qualify that – please don’t throw pudding. Just look at me with disapproval. But I digress.

So Sam and I – motherhood – that’s right – we talked about how for moms (and dads too, I suspect) to say no and lay down boundaries with our kids and our families is very difficult. We talked about how it seems like saying “yes” is what love looks like, whereas “no” feels like the opposite of love. Right? Has anybody else experienced this? So as Sam and I talked about Mary Poppins and her “spoonful of sugar” methodology, we realized the strict nanny is also loving – but that love can also mean a long-term outcome, by being strict in the now.

This talk about what love means interested me because, while it may sound a little esoteric, one of the things we talk about in my workshops is working out the finer points of your main character both using the idea of “page negative 10″ – what was going on for your character a month or more ago – and doing a character interview based on the Proust Questionnaire to find out stuff like who your character regards as a hero, what qualities they prefer in a man, a woman, etc.

So – what does love mean to you? And more importantly – what does it mean to your main character? Does it mean never having to say you’re sorry? Does it mean never saying “no?” Does it have daddy-issue or mommy-issue qualities to it (caregiver) or does it have sexual or erotic connotations? Or loyalty? Or submission? It’s an interesting question.

London workshop starts at 9:30am tomorrow at the Yorkshire Grey pub where I went today and was blown away by the beauty of the room – lined with windows on three sides, looking out onto a busy street with double-decker buses and shops. And the seating inside is comfy stuffed chairs and couches! We’re going to have such fun! And I’ll be very curious to see if my UK students differ from my wonderful NYC group! It’s the Brits versus the Yanks!

Keep those short scenes rolling in, everybody!