You Know How I Know You’re a Writer?

First of all, who is the first person who can tell me which movie that blog post title riffs on?

I know more writers than anyone I know, excluding my colleagues like Pilar Alessandra, Gordy Hoffman, Karl Iglesias and others. Let me put it another way: I know more writers, by a country mile, than any normal person I know.

Whether they write well or do not, there are types of writers:

Your young, intellectual, articulate type who is maybe 28 but who seems 54. Well put together, very informed, a real expert on film and literature. Personal challenge: Needs to lighten up. Julie says: Live a little, kid. You have plenty of time to write. Work on your “voice.”

Your middle-aged woman trying to find herself type. Neat, polite, excited to find fulfillment in creative expression. If she hasn’t written before, it will take her way longer to get the feel for it than she thinks but if she has, even if it’s been 20 years, it’ll come right back to her. Personal challenge: Wants to write about divorce, romance and child-rearing. But she needs some distance from it. Julie says: You know much more about life than relationships, kids and cooking. Value your life experience and dig deeper.

Your basement dwelling, bad hygiene, dandruffy, weird smelling recluse type for whom writing is an excellent form of expression but social interaction is excruciatingly painful. For all involved. Personal challenge: Debilitating self-consciousness; writing only in sci-fi and fantasy as a way of distancing self from others. Julie says: I love you, but you need to take care of yourself and make eye contact. You have value just like anybody else.

Your social misfit/outsider type. Not as challenging or challenged as the basement dweller, but nonetheless, a person who has never fit in. This person was never cool, good-looking, popular or super articulate. On the outside. But on the inside, oh the life they lead. They often have sharp elbows, wear glasses and blush easily. Personal challenge: Needs more confidence. Full stop. Julie says: Chin up! Straighten those shoulders! You rock far more than you know!

Your over achiever, mid-40′s closeted creative/career person type. This person is often a doctor or lawyer or something that requires advanced degrees. He or she has had success in life already, but has pent-up creativity and has the time and luxury to try something new. Personal challenge: Realizing that success in information-based career has no relationship to the learning curve of writing. Julie says: Take a deep breath. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Give it time. If writing was easy, everyone would do it. Congrats on coming out of the closet, by the way.

Your garrulous, funny, social animal writer type who networks like there’s no tomorrow and is a lot of fun to be around but sometimes overextends and doesn’t always finish projects. Personal challenge: Discipline. Julie says: You’re one of my favorite kinds of people and I love that you are so fun. But you undermine your shot at success if you can’t make a habit out of really getting that writing time. Don’t sabotage yourself. Be still.

Your hell-bent-for-leather, humorless type. This person takes the writing VERY seriously, along with their video game collection or wine collection or car collection. This person is stone-cold determined to make it and is not usually a bunch of fun to hang out with. Personal challenge: Inflexibility, often to the point of brittleness and defensiveness. Julie says: RELAX. Writing is supposed to be fun. Loosen up, lighten up and have more fun with it.

Your silly young college girl who is actually not that silly but just lacking in self-confidence and life experience type. But she knows she wants to write. And she’s not bad, either. She needs to do more living first. Or write what she knows. Which she undervalues. Personal challenge: Digging deeper than writing fluffy scripts that she writes because she doesn’t feel she has anything to really say or explore. But she’s wrong. Julie says: You DO have something to say and I want to hear it! You are the next generation femme who could write another Thelma and Louise. Sure you’re only 19 but not for one second should you shortchange the gifts you have to give.

Your retiree type who has recently discovered a passion for writing and has so many stories to tell due to naval, Army, industrial fishing experiences. These types are talkers and always enjoy telling a good yarn. They usually read copiously. Personal challenge: Getting over the fact that writing is not something you pick up, like golf. Pushing the reset button. Julie says: Write about what you know, and be passionate about it, but don’t be hardheaded or resistant to notes and suggestions. It’s actually NOT your way or the highway.

Your stay-at-home mother who feels landlocked creatively and is taking time for herself type. This person is so excited to write but has a hard time finding the time. But she has great ideas and isn’t willing to table her writing for 12 years til Junior is in middle school and god bless her. Personal challenge: Finding the time and energy to write. She seems to come last in the family hierarchy of needs, especially because secretly she worries that writing IS perhaps a silly thing to spend time doing. Julie says: You go, girl! Writing is not a silly thing. You are part of the tribe. Model for Junior that following one’s dreams IS the most important thing, right behind Thin Mints and swimming lessons.

Your hip, trendy, popular type. Is writing because everyone else is writing because it’s contagious in this town. This person may appear, on the surface, to be Just Another Hipster but in fact, spends most of his or her time writing, reading the trades and networking. Personal challenge: None. This is a threat to all other types. Julie says: Can’t you cut us all a break and like, slack off for a month or two?? Go to happy hour! Get a margarita!

I could go on. But the one thing everyone of these types has in common (do you see yourself on the list? who is going to nod and smile and say that’s me – basement dweller!) is not just that we write but that we are always spinning stories out of things. That is the trait that encompasses ALL socioeconomic, geographic, marital, parental, age, popularity, hygiene habit strata.

Whether we can actually write well or not. Whether we are experienced writers or not. Whether we are beautiful or not so much, or young or older or married or not – what sets our tribe apart is that constant, playful, working out of story. We can’t help it. We are literally always seeing story potential in everything around us. Or character potential. We are always saying “what if” or “how come” or “why” or “and THEN.” A part of our brain is always engaging with story.

We are a nice tribe. We should have our own hand signal and tree fort. We should always be excellent to one another and do no harm. Basement Dweller, meet Hipster Writer. Stay At Home Mom, high five Retiree. Social Misfit, yeah, you? Salute the Middle-Aged Woman Trying to Find Herself. She was never lost. We are all one. We are one tribe.