Writing Cinematically

So I taught a fun class at the Great American Pitch Fest last weekend, entitled Words Into Pictures: Writing Cinematically for the Silver Screen. What a great group I had. I always get so lucky that way.

The GAPF is the only screenwriting event I know of that I whole-heartedly recommend you check out. Bob and Signe, who run the event, are both top-notch professionals but at least as importantly, just plain good people. I got to see my wonderful colleagues Pilar Alessandra, Ellen Sandler, Danny Manus, Karl Iglesias, Marilyn Horowitz, and more. What good company to be in, right?!

So the class. We talked about what for most writers is the frosting on the cake, the fun part, the writing COOL stuff part – writing using sensory details in order to create not a read but an experience for the reader. Why use “walk” when you can use “stroll?” What’s the difference between “walk” and “stroll?” How about “strut” or “stride?” Synonyms are not what they appear to be – the same meaning – no, there are many shades of meaning in this, our wonderful language.

The bottom line is, how do you want the reader (and later, viewer) to feel when they read your script? Filled with dread? Joyful? Hopeful? Patriotic? Then choose words at every opportunity that convey that feeling.

Writers often fall into two categories when it comes to the frosting. They either write ALL frosting and pay no heed to the bones of the story (structure, theme, character arc, dialogue) OR they have read one too many screenwriting books and write in a very dry manner.

Your reader must be transported by your pages. They are not reading about an experience – they are IN it. Sensory details (sight, sound, touch, smell and taste) are key ingredients to writing pages that manipulate the reader into the experience you want them to have. Choose every word on every page wisely. Think of haiku and the way so few words can convey so very much.

Yes it is okay (sparingly) to ALL CAP a word for emphasis, e.g., “Shane turns. BANG. The gun goes off.” And while there are those who disagree, I fully get behind a writer who might include a sensory detail like: “The forest floor was sun dappled and a sharp pine scent hung in the air.” What does pine scene look like? Nothing. But it sure smells distinct, doesn’t it?

When class was over, each student had two bits of homework: To send me a 100 word, sensory filled story from childhood, and to go back over the pages of their script and check to see whether each page is delivering the sensations of being IN the story.

As I said in class, screenwriters are manipulators for good. We are using our words not only to paint a picture but to engage the senses of the reader in every single way that we can. Ask yourself, what do I want someone to FEEL when they read this script?

Here is one student’s homework. I love it, it is splendid, it is filled with sensory details and it is written in ONLY 100 words. Any Effers who would like to take on the same challenge are welcome to post here.

So without further adieu, we have Christmas Punch, by Anthony Forzaglia:

I stood on my tippy-toes, marveling at rosy cherries and fragrant half-moons of orange. Once again, I sent the ladle clanking, and filled my Tupperware cup. Christmas lights danced as Bing Crosby sang and I savored the sugary goodness of the juice, the cool sting of ice on my tongue. And had no clue that the warm fuzzies radiating through my reindeer sweater was five varieties of alcohol. The adults didn’t seem to mind, too busy to notice my little pink moustache. I was seven years old after all, head of the kids’ table. And Santa wasn’t due for hours.