Jan 26, 20122012-01-26T23:53:25ZM d, Y 2 Comments »
As I prepare to leave the US for the exotic and dusty shores of the Middle East, I find that I am increasingly far from my comfort zone. It’s scary, in other words. Yes, I’ll be blogging, twittering and Facebooking, not to mention emailing and consulting – you may not notice much of a difference, actually. But I will. Not to mention the work I plan to do with my new endeavor, Stories Without Borders.
You know when sometimes you see something inspirational and marvel that you came across it, as if it were meant for your eyes? I saw this drawing the other day and it really made my day. I hope it makes yours too!

Jan 24, 20122012-01-25T01:32:13ZM d, Y 2 Comments »
Hello, everyone!
Who hasn’t seen the 2011 Academy Award nominations? Some really interesting picks this year – is there ever a year when there aren’t some lusty protestations about this or that movie or actor left out? Not since I’ve been watching the awards, that’s for sure.
Today I taught a class at Warner Bros., my favorite place to teach. The students are always so passionate and interactive and we had a FULL house! We talked about structure – you know, the three acts, plot points and all of that. But we also talked about structure vis a vis the Hero’s Journey, which labels things like the inciting incident the “call to adventure”. We compared regular three act structure with the hero’s journey for the purpose of looking at our own lives through the lens of the hero’s journey.
We have calls to adventure all the time. Do you say “yes” more often than you say “no”? If you have refused the call, what were you clinging to in the known quantities of your life that made change so frightening? Of course, in stories, we force our main characters to cross the threshold into the second act, and indeed, into the meat of the story. But in our lives, we have the choice to accept or not accept the call to adventure, which usually looks something like a problem, a challenge or even a hardship. But a call to adventure is really an opportunity to expand who you are.
So in the class, we talked about our own personal calls to adventure and whether we heeded them or not and if not – why? It’s important to really become a self-centered writer – to know thyself and to think about why you cling to stasis, avoid change and how you cope with unexpected change. Because you are writing three-dimensional characters who, in your story, will experience fear of change too.
The other point in the hero’s journey we talked about was the “abyss” or the “dark night of the soul” and how in our own lives, that stage can feel so hopeless and despairing. It seems as if there is no way out. If you think back to one of your “abyss” moments in life (and if you’ve been around the block even a little, you’ve had a few and they’ll keep on coming) it’s helpful to recall what little change gave you the glimmer of hope needed to get unstuck. And it’s helpful to remember how empowered and positive you felt when you found your way out of the darkness. Your characters will go through the same thing – only in one story that will be resolved in two hours.
In our own lives, the call to adventure comes every day – can we show up again and again despite our fear of change, inconvenience or challenges? Can we say “yes” more often than we say “no” to our own learning and growth? It is imperative for writers to embrace saying “yes” to new experiences, people and opportunities. Writers are only second to actors in terms of creatives who get to – notice I didn’t say have to – who GET to really be present in their emotions in order to create.
If YOU don’t examine your own hero’s journey and how it keeps unfolding and how that feels – how can you expect to write a character who could walk off the pages of your script? How can you write about a character in pain if you haven’t examined your own pain? How can you be empathetic to your villain if you have never truly felt RAGE yourself?
Self-centered writing is something that writers need to incorporate as they seek to develop their voice. It’s one thing to have an academic understanding of structure, to have an intellectual grasp of fear, pain, loss, joy, redemption and grace – but in order to write it well, you have to have lived it yourself.
As Socrates said, “The unexamined life is not worth living.”
So what’s your call to adventure? Why be so fearful of being in the abyss when you can also remember how great it feels to get out of it? This living of life thing includes a huge spectrum of emotions and experiences that are sometimes not easy to deal with. Nobody said living was easy, and nobody said writing was easy either.
Here’s a well kept secret: even heroes get the blues sometimes, and even heroes get confused, frightened and despairing. But they find the courage and the will to go on. BE the hero in your own journey – make conscious, brave choices. Say “yes” more often than you say “no” and watch your connection with your writing and with your life become stronger than it’s ever been.
Jan 20, 20122012-01-20T16:10:20ZM d, Y 1 Comment »
Hello, everybody! I’ve been busy the last few days spending time with the wonderful, talented and dare I say, handsome Jared Kelly, the winner of the 2011 Just Effing Entertain Me Screenplay Competition with his script, Descendant. Jared will be blogging about his experiences later this week – I think I’m exhausting him! However, he did remark to me yesterday, as we were on our way to another meeting that this is the only competition that picks you up at the airport and takes you directly to a bar. Lol! True enough, I do pick you up, and, well, Jared looked like he needed a drink. Plus he’s British, so I just figured….(that’s him at one of my favorite bars in LA, the St. Felix.)
So far, Jared has had a meeting at Gersh, Voyage Media and with Andrew Kersey. In coming days, he has meetings with Gold Circle, APA, Circle of Confusion and Intrigue! On Wednesday evening, we had a lovely time at the Roosevelt Hotel with the inimitable Dan McGrath (SNL, the Simpsons, King of the Hill) where Jared and Dan discussed the similarities between comedy and horror and some of their favorite black comedies. We had a lovely evening in this venerable old Hollywood institution (site of the very first Academy Award ceremony) and even went on to get after dinner drinks at my favorite haunt, Jones.
Speaking of Intrigue Entertainment – the JFEME winner last year, Ian Simpson, who got repped through the competition by Andrew Kersey, is submitting a very big, fun action script to Intrigue soon and Andrew says everybody is very excited about the material! I was SO excited to hear this news from Andrew and Ian, if you’re reading this, you are in BIG trouble for not telling me what you were working on!!
Another of Jared’s prizes was that I was able to introduce him to Stephen Susco, who has bent over backwards and has been mentoring Jared, reading two of his treatments, giving him advice, etc. Stephen, for the guy who wrote Leatherface: 3D, you are an angel!
Today, Jared and I are going to meet Conrad Vernon (Madagascar, Monsters v. Aliens, Shrek, Shrek 2) and tour the Dreamworks campus and then this afternoon, it’s a VIP tour of the Warner Bros. lot.
For me, one of the most interesting take-aways so far was the conversation Jared had with Nat Mundel at Voyage Media. Nat discussed how the landscape today requires writers to really brand and market themselves. Something I think that we suspected, but Nat confirmed that a writer has to SERIOUSLY create a package of who they are as a person and as a writer. He talked about how Voyage helps a writer really be clear about his or her goals as a writer (also direct? produce?) and helps that writer connect the dots to make it happen – almost like the old-fashioned publishing houses of days gone by (and I do mean GONE daddy GONE) who worked very closely with their writers in terms of strategy, buzz building, goal setting, etc. I found the whole conversation super exciting and I know that Jared and I had quite a conversation about just what the Jared Kelly package and story are as we left. Something to be thinking about, you readers – what is your story? What are your goals? What does the package of YOU really look like?
At any rate, Jared is here for several more days and we are having a hoot. You’ll hear from Jared soon as I give him a chance to catch his breath!
Jan 17, 20122012-01-17T18:55:52ZM d, Y No Comments »
Today at 3:15PM, Jared Kelly arrives in Los Angeles to collect his prizes! I will be there to pick him up, then off for several days of meetings, lunches and shopping as I roll out the red carpet for this very talented writer! Jared will be blogging about his experience so you can get a little taste of what it’s like to win the competition.
Speaking of which, I am very proud of this competition and have received hundreds of emails about whether I will be taking submissions in 2012 (owing to the fact that I’m moving abroad in February). The answer is maybe. Probably. I hope so. I will have a huge culture shock, moving from the good old US of A to the Middle East, but this competition is one of my passions and I would like to keep it going. This year I am thinking of adding a Visionary prize for those writers with scripts that have humanitarian themes and impact.
Which reminds me – did I mention that I discovered an organization the other day that made me want to LEAP into the air? The Global Alliance for Transformative Entertainment is an organization you should know about. With members like Marianne Williamson, Eckhardt Tolle and Jim Carrey (I know! Crazy!) this group is dedicated to fostering and funding entertainment on a global scale, that aims to uplift and transform. I found out about GATE through my dear friend, Nat Mundel, of Voyage Media. Synchronicity!
I hope everyone is having a great day! Stay tuned for Jared’s blog posts about arriving in LA to collect his prizes, take his meetings and.. we’ll see whether he gets that tat!
Jan 14, 20122012-01-14T21:18:56ZM d, Y 1 Comment »

This last week, I had the pleasure of sitting down with Nat Mundel, founder of Voyage Media, an awesome media and branding company that I’ve done business with in the past to discuss my impending move to Tel Aviv and how we can work together to bring more attention to Stories Without Borders and all it entails (art activism, film-for-peace, women’s rights, etc.).
I just love Nat and – dare I say – his energy. He is whipsmart, very plugged in and very passionate about what he and Voyage Media do.
Nat also has some pretty interesting perspectives that could totally change how you see the writing/pitching universe and was AWESOME enough to share his 5-part free video training program so you, my readers, can get a sense of what’s offered through Voyage. Click here or on the pic, above to check that freebie out!
So me being me, I just had to know more and recorded an interview with Nat to share with you!
One of the things I found out is that this little-known company has been the industry’s secret weapon for over 9 years, developing and selling some of the biggest movies and TV shows in the business! While we spoke, I learned how Nat Mundel and the team at Voyage Media are pulling back the curtain to reveal what it takes for emerging writers to get something made in Hollywood. Being a priestess of possibilities and empowerment, I just had to learn more and pass it along to you.
Julie Gray: You know, I thought your name was Nate for the longest time. HELLO.
NM: I know! I get that a lot.
Julie: Well, at least I’m not alone! Can you tell us a little more about what you do and are there any projects we might know of that you’ve worked on?
NM: Sure. It’s pretty simple. We’re a boutique shop that helps writers, producers & directors develop, market and sell their entertainment projects. We also produce kick-ass sales materials (look-books, sizzle reels, treatments, etc) for features, TV shows and branded entertainment.
One of our most popular offerings is our “Insider Strategy Session” – in which writers get to connect 1-on-1 with a high-level industry executive who reads their material and offers strategic insights on how to best bring it forward into the marketplace. Emerging writers have found these sessions to be invaluable.
Some of our notable clients include Jerry Bruckheimer, Chris Levinson, Jason Blum, The Hughes Brothers, Lionsgate, Jim Sheridan, Anonymous Content, and many others. But we also help out emerging writers & producers as well.
The list of projects our team members have worked on is really long but some notables in features would be THE BLIND SIDE. THE MESSENGER, RABBIT-PROOF FENCE, BLADES OF GLORY, G.I.JOE, MUMMY: TOMB OF THE DRAGON EMPEROR, SCREAM 4, WILD HOGS, THE BOOK OF ELI and in TV some big one’s include TRUE BLOOD, THE WIRE, BOARDWALK EMPIRE, SIX FEET UNDER, WEEDS, MIAMI MEDICAL and MASTERS OF HORROR.
Julie: True Blood? I love Alan Ball. I just spoke with him other day. He knows I’m a freak fan of his, lol!
NM: I hope you didn’t scare him!
Julie: He did drive away kinda fast come to think of it….
NM: Lol!
Julie: Sorry, back to the topic at hand. Let me ask you this: we’ve heard you say that establishing a career as a professional writer requires more then just writing ability, it also requires strategy. What do you mean by that?
NM: We think of strategy on two primary levels: project strategy & career strategy. Of course great writing ability will always be the minimum barrier to entry, but it’s not enough – a writer has to be writing the “right” projects – which lie at the intersection of personal skills/passions and marketplace/audience demand. If a writer isn’t writing the right projects, they’re wasting their most valuable resource: time.
In terms of career strategy, we take a look at someone’s strengths, weaknesses and latent inclinations, and create a personal-brand strategy that helps build notoriety in the industry and, perhaps more importantly, provides guidance and tactics for sustaining a career that’s just getting going. We have a lot of clients who have had some initial success but weren’t able to keep things going, largely because of poor planning and lack of focus.
Julie: What specific skills (other then the ability to write a great script) are important for a writer trying to break into the industry?
NM: Wow, there’s so many levels to this question. I’ll cut right to the chase: I think the most important things a writer can do are (1) learn some sales & marketing skills and (2) develop themselves personally.
Both topics are covered in the Free Video Training (click here) but on the sales & marketing front, there’s a great story told by Author Robert Kiyosaki in his book, Rich Dad Poor Dad – he’s being interviewed by this young journalist in a hotel lobby and, at the end of the interview she asks him for some guidance on getting a book deal since she’s an aspiring novelist. He thinks for a minute and says, “I think the best thing you could do is take a sales course”.
Julie: No way! Well, no, that makes sense, honestly.
NM: Well, the journalist was horrified and actually offended. She clamored that she was an Ivy League educated writer and that she would never stoop so low as to get into sales. Robert was a little taken aback at first but gathered himself and since he was trying to be helpful, he asked her to read what it said on the top of his book. He said, “You see it says best SELLING author, not best WRITING author. I’m a lousy writer; you’re a great writer. If you could combine both, you’re sure to have success!” The young journalist was so offended that she gathered her things and stormed out of the hotel lobby. Needless to say, she’s still unpublished.
And that actually brings me to the personal development side – it’s really important for writers to remember that they’re just human beings; and even more important to remember that decision-makers are just human beings too. If writers who are trying to pitch their work can remember that, than the fear of rejection becomes easier to manage (and also the urgent need to jump at the first offer becomes a less powerful force).
The titles “writer” and agent”” and “exec” ultimately have no meaning; after all we’re all just human beings looking to make connections with people, have our needs met, and pursue our passions. Everything else is an illusion or abstraction. So developing one’s self esteem and self-image I think is a really high leverage activity.
Julie: What are some of the common mistakes you see newer writers making?
NM: Spending time on the “wrong” projects and forgetting who they are as people. These are killers.
Julie: Oh yeah. Couldn’t agree with you more on that. What are some of the common mistakes you see working writers making?
NM: A couple things come up when I think about this:
#1 is I see working writers fail to plan for the longevity of their career. A lot of people think that once they have an agent or manager, they’re done. It’s actually the opposite. If you’re lucky enough to get signed, now the real work begins. And now more than ever, it’s a mistake to expect agents/managers to do all the heavy-lifting for your career – they just don’t have the time (unless you’re Alan Loeb). You have to have a plan to keep writing (the right stuff) and stay curious and always developing. It’s easier said than done.
#2 is thinking that you can go it alone. For some reason in our industry, we think of writers as these solo acts that simply need to lock themselves away and keep writing. It’s a total myth. Every truly successful person I know has a team – a team of coaches, collaborators, mentors, etc. Can you imaging Michael Jordan going it alone? Or Lance Armstrong? Or Barack Obama? Why do we think that our industry is any different? It’s not. I really recommend that emerging writers start building their team (and no, your mom is NOT your team).
The coolest definition of who to put on your team comes from world-renowned psychologist, Marty Seligman. He says if members of your team have not either (1) done what you are trying to do, (2) successfully helped others do what you’re trying to do, or (3) are world-renowned experts in your field, then they’re not the right team team members .
Julie: How would you describe the current state of the industry as it relates to both working writers and those trying to launch their careers?
NM: I’m betting on significant democratization over the next few years and therefore I believe there will be an ongoing transfer of “power” from the studio/network level to the individual level. I think the writers who will succeed, whether working or emerging, are those that will take responsibility for their own careers and invest in their own projects.
Julie: OH MY GOD you are preaching to the choir! Right on!
NM: (laughs) Calm down, Julie.
Julie: Sorry. Ahem. What kinds of writers are you interested in working with?
NM: The previous answer is a pretty good indicator – those that aren’t afraid to invest in themselves, their projects and their careers – that’s the kind of writer we work well with. In addition to movie, tv and webseries writers, I’m also making a specific bet on very targeted, small movies that can be made for a price.
Julie: How can my readers contact you?
NM: Give me a ring. The office line is 310 392 4180 or they can email us at hello@voyagemedia.com – we’d love to hear from you.
Julie: Thank you so much, Nat! We’ll be talking much more about Stories Without Borders very soon. Excited about that. Now let’s include ways for my readers to learn more:
**To learn about Voyage Media’s development services you can visit http://www.theprofessionalsprogram.com/
**And for information about Voyage Media’s presentation and sizzle reel offerings, visit http://voyagemedia.com
**(Click here) to enjoy the Free Video Training
Julie: You already gave us that link.
NM: It’s not that I’m doubting your technical abilities or anything… I’m just sayin’.
Julie: LOL!
Jan 12, 20122012-01-12T19:11:43ZM d, Y 1 Comment »
Jan 09, 20122012-01-09T20:13:26ZM d, Y No Comments »
So this struck me as a VERY fun thing for you guys to know about!
If you participate in this live, streaming Q&A with Angelina Jolie (January 12th, 8pm EST, 5pm PST – mark your calendar!) on Just Effing, you can submit questions for Jolie, and be selected to win a free Blood and Honey poster. Sounds like fun!!
Jan 07, 20122012-01-07T19:32:21ZM d, Y 3 Comments »
There’s a story in (and about) Hollywood that goes like this: it’s really hard to work in entertainment.
You know the one – it’s hard to break in. Few people do it. It’s an incestuous industry. Outsiders are not welcome.
As long as you continue to tell yourself that story, it will be true for you.
What if you come up with a new story? Content is needed and important. Writers are welcomed. New ideas are welcomed. Good stories always rise to the top.
We make up stories about everything in our lives. We are constantly pre-narrating what goes on and giving it meaning.Pre-narrating. Think about it for a sec. Deciding in advance what will happen and why. It’s hard to quit smoking. It’s hard to lose weight. Life is not fair. I remember my doctor once said if people didn’t talk about how hard it is to quit smoking all the time, more people would try to quit. I have quit many times (lol) it’s not hard. It’s a bummer for a few days. But it’s really not hard. You just quit doing it. Like everything, you just have to want to quit. Which is why nagging, guilting and threats are not effective.
You know this in your own life perfectly well. If you really want to do something, you just do it. Why should we have an inner sing-a-long to accompany our lives each day that things are hard, not fair and a struggle? Who wants that soundtrack? What if you tried a different mantra until it became a different belief until it became a different outcome? What if, instead of saying “I hate my job”, saying “My job is easy and fun”? Even if you don’t completely believe that. Just try it. Writing is easy and fun. I love writing. Good stories find their way to the top. The more I write, the better I get. Hollywood loves new writers and new stories.
Minimally, you’ll simply be more cheerful and nicer to be around. But the secret coin-in-the-cake prize is that by creating a new story, you will live it. What’s the difference between you and some successful Hollywood writer? I’ll blow your mind: NOTHING.
Except they believed it was possible. Not a long shot. Not a lucky break. It was a fact for them that they’d break in. Hollywood writers who are currently working for good money are not necessarily better writers than anyone reading this blog right now. They just wrote their own narratives, that if they worked on their writing, learned everything about it, did it every day and came up with stories and ideas with the joyful expectation that they would sell, it would happen.
This is not law of attraction thinking along the lines of “I want a red truck so I think about red trucks every day”. No, this is law of attraction thinking that simply says “Being me is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. I love writing and when and if the time comes that I don’t, I’ll raise kittens and take great joy and pleasure in that too, because I fully expect the best outcomes for myself.”
That is the magical ingredient of successful people. They fully expect the best outcomes. They aren’t smarter than you, they aren’t prettier or more talented. They were persistent, creative and determined. They create positive narratives for themselves. Plenty of people try hard and hope they’ll succeed. But trying and hoping isn’t enough. You have to KNOW.
If you set your mind to it, you can do anything. My mom used to tell me that. Set your mind to it. Not set as in casting a die or pouring concrete, but set as in atune. Tune your mind to the right channel. The one that feels good and excited and energized. It doesn’t matter what you atune your mind to – it could be working in show business, publishing books, being a great elementary school teacher or solving global warming. Anything you do with joyful enthusiasm and optimism will be something you do well , consistently and with integrity.
By integrity, I don’t mean in the sense of morality, I mean integrity in the sense of foundational strength and trueness. Like the architectural integrity of a building. It starts off with the foundation.
Do you truly take great joy in writing? Have you studied everything you can about writing, about film and about show business? Do you continue to? Do you write every day? Do you read the trades? (Careful; a lot of information about Hollywood is definitely told through the lens of YOU’LL NEVER MAKE IT THERE ARE NO JOBS OR FILMS OR CAREERS RIGHT NOW – don’t believe it.)
All things being equal, which story would you prefer to live in your life – writing and otherwise? That life is fun and easy, joyful and surprising? Full of opportunities and pleasures and happiness? Or that life is full of drudgery, disappointments and unfairness?
When the economic collapse was unfolding, economists said that a big part of the disintegration was (and continues to be, but not us, right?!) the belief that consumers held, that the economy was bad. If you believe it’s bad, if all you choose to see through your filter is failed companies, unemployed people and closed stores, then you don’t tend to shop or spend your money. You feel afraid. You collapse within yourself. NO gift, NO party, NO new car, NO new clothes. And the economy responds to that retreat quite plainly.
It isn’t easy to ignore “what is”. Jobless rates, long lines, foreclosed homes. I’m not saying that stuff isn’t happening. So how would you like to narrate that for yourself? Hopelessness, anger, fear? Or new opportunities? Growth? Change? What if you said okay, so how, within this brave new world economy, can I continue to thrive? How can I reinvent myself, how can I continue to find a way for my creativity to be expressed?
The same could be true of Hollywood. There is a lot of “what is” that can feel very discouraging. Not enough women and minorities working in the industry. Not enough new writers and scripts being brought in. Not enough good films being made. It’s a “what is” that is tough to ignore. But what if you stubbornly saw a different side to that “what is”? Something like, new writers WILL be wanted and soon. It’s happening now. Hollywood had it’s worst box office in 16 years in 2011. Something has to change and it’s already happening. Indy film, online content and self-publish are three areas just begging to be noticed by you right now.
In the same way that a stream rushes down its path going over and around rocks, sometimes being diverted but never being stopped, live your creative life downstream. Nothing can stop your momentum and your happiness. If that’s the story you’d like to live in.
The cool part is – you have a choice. Which story do you choose to live? That Hollywood is hard to break into? Or impossible? Or that you love writing, you do it every day and your stories are going to be published, produced and enjoyed? You don’t have to know how that’s going to happen. Or when, exactly. Just that it’s a fact. Live your life in this way and sit back in amazement as goal after goal is met easily and often. I promise.
___________________________
Great documentary by Tom Shadyac, director of Ace Ventura and Bruce Almighty (to name only two): I AM.
Jan 03, 20122012-01-03T22:06:06ZM d, Y 1 Comment »
Thanks, everybody, for so many submissions!! I apologize for posting and announcing the winner so late! So many entries came and and they ranged from laugh-til-you-cry hilarious to letters which were darker or more serious in tone. I am quite sure that all who participated got something out of writing and sending those letters in, whether that be a good laugh or some feeling of catharsis and satisfaction by summarizing 2011 so succinctly.
The winner(s) just had to be Su Hoyle and Nina Wishengrad, who are also, coincidentally, the co-writers of Hot Flash, the winner of the 2011 Just Effing Screenwriting Competition in the comedy category. These two ladies are seriously funny talent waiting to be discovered. If you are an agent, manager or producer looking for a sidesplitting comedy about – ahem, older dames – please email me HERE. Serious inquiries only, please.
Without ado, here is their hilarious Christmas letter from Tante Kerplatch:
Dear Ones:
I’m sure you’re expecting a cheery holiday letter that will fill you in on the high points of my year.
Hah.
Like you care. Has even one of you picked up the phone to call me? Or taken the short trip to knock on my door? No.
Unlike you, I don’t waste hours and hours every day on Facebook, Twitter, Tumbler, Google+, Google groups, and Google-Gag-Me, so I have no effing idea what you’ve eaten, watched, or slept with, or what your kids have won in the latest soccer/
geography/chorus competition. Nor do I care.
However, if you persist in claiming you actually care about what’s happened to me once every 364 days, I have supplied some details below. Unfortunately, most of them are false, not that you’ll know the difference. Think you can? Fine. Take the quiz. Send me your answers, along with the $565.00 entry fee ($780.00 after Easter), and I’ll notify winners in next year’s holiday letter. If I should live so long.
Last year, I was diagnosed with:
a.) Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia
b.) Hyperextension of the left middle phalanges digitorum manus
c.) Pastoral Torpor
My _________ died.
a.) Betamax
b.) Spiderplant
c.) Sitzfleish
My gorgeous granddaughter won:
a.) How the hell should I know? She never calls.
b.) How the hell should I know? She never writes.
c.) How the hell should I know? She never visits.
I realized my lifelong dream of:
a.) traveling to my great-great-great-grandfather’s birthplace in PeeWee Valley, KY.
b.) playing cymbals in the 1965 Nudists’ Jamboree reunion band.
c.) having a successful bowel movement without resorting to coffee and a cigarette.
If you’ve gotten this far, I guess you have nothing better to do and no one to do it with.
So drop by. You can tell me how good I look for my age while I pretend to think I am
Saint Gertrude of Nivelles and you are a mouse.
Till then, zol vacksen tsibiles fun dayn pupik,
Tante Kerplatch
(The one with the red hair, remember? No, not the one youʼre thinking of. The other
one.)
Jan 03, 20122012-01-03T21:24:34ZM d, Y 2 Comments »
Has anybody who reads Just Effing ever tried writing flash fiction? I was sent a piece by a wonderful student who attends my every class in Chicago and wanted to share it because it not only clocks in at under 500 words, it manages to contain thematic call backs and a character arc as well.
Flash fiction is a great way to get your writing muscles into shape. If you think it’s tough, just imagine telling a story at a dinner party, of something that happened. You’ll find the same elements of any story: set up, complication and payoff. Poetry, lyrics, heck, commercials all tell stories very succinctly. Could you tell a story in 1,000 words or less? How about 492 words, as Noreen as done here? I bet you can. But until then, for your enjoyment and admiration here is:
IT’S ABOUT TIME. IT’S ABOUT SPACE
By
Noreen Cashman
I awaken, curled like a walnut, in front of the flashing TV. It’s three in the morning.
A late-night Anchor metronomes his way through a report on “the time-space continuum” and as I strain to listen, I’m blasted through a dusty wormhole of memory and emerge curled up next to my Dad in our silver-blue Oldsmobile. I am three years old.
We play “TV Theme Songs” as my Dad navigates ribbons of unfamiliar country roads, peppered with lonesome clapboard houses and boundless fields of corn.
“It’s about time. It’s about space,” he sings as we swing down a barely discernible road. The sun sparkles like sequins through lush canopies of trees that touch fingertips across the road.
Pebbles ping and pop against the car. A majestic English Manor house, larger than anything I’ve ever seen, looms ahead. Cheetah spot shadows chase across the front of the house.
My Dad stops the car and clasps my hand. “Let’s go, honey.” I’m blinded by the blaze of beauty before me. My Dad rings the doorbell which I am sure will be answered by a stately King or Queen. Instead, a mousey, sullen man as old and stooped as Moses, admits us into a drawing room that smells of must and mothballs.
The man wheels in a bald, steely-eyed man wrapped in a plaid woolen blanket, who looks like he just caught a whiff of bad cheese.
Beauty did not live in this house.
The blanketed heap of misery regards my Dad with a vile sniff. “What have you got to say for yourself?”
My Dad steadies his expression. “I need a little more time. We’re a bit short this month.”
The man slaps the arm of his wheelchair. “I’ve given time enough. No extensions!”
“Please, my Family. I promise I’ll–“
“I’m calling in the loan. You have it in my hands Monday morning or I’ll have the Sheriff at your door.”
All light and color seep from my Dad’s face. He takes my hand. “Come on, Baby.”
I stare at that rank fossil and want to tell him that my Dad will never need him or anyone remotely like him, ever again.
I am three years old and I know that my Dad will be okay.
We depart like two silent Monks. My Dad’s eyes tear up as he drives us straight into the sun. I pat his hand and sing, “It’s about time. It’s about space.” Dad smiles and chimes in.
I’m back in my chair with the flashing TV; tears cascade down my cheeks. “Dad,” I whisper.
That beautiful, gentle man went on to amass fortunes undreamed of by that greedy miser and he gave it away faster than he could spend it.
I aim and click the remote and as the velvety darkness wraps its arms around me, I smile and sing, “It’s about time. It’s about space.”
To learn more about flash fiction, check out Flash Fiction Online or simply Google flash fiction and be amazed at how many sites come up for your perusal. If anybody feels moved to try writing some flash fiction, please do and submit it HERE. If your story is effing entertaining as Noreen’s, I’ll put your story on the site!