Just Effing Entertain Me

In the First Person

Wishful Thinking
by Adam Hong

I would be lying if I say I remember how my grandmother died. But hearing the story so many times, in so many points of view, I have my take on her death. In all versions, I had something to do with it. In mine, I killed her, not intentionally, of course, because I was barely two years old.

I was born with a cleft lip, a birth defect that had kept my grandmother away for the first twenty months of my life. I was too young to be ashamed of my deformity, but my poor mother was the topic on everybody’s tongue. A month after my surgery to fix the cleft lip, almost two years after I was born, I met my grandmother for the first time. She was hovering her crumbled face over my crib, squinting her clouded eyes at me and introducing me to her ill-fitting dentures. I was sure my freshly stitched lip was the focal point of her attention. She was a seventy-one-year-old woman who was built and looked like a sharpie — husky, squarish snout, and all skin. As she leaned closer, close enough for me to count her grays sprouting out of her bottomless nostrils, her skin hung forth and dripped off her face like melting wax. Something had dripped off her face, and strung from the split where her lips supposed to be. I let out a horrific scream and defenselessly grabbed hold of the skin from her neck, pulling this liquid dispenser out of my way. She jerked her head back, lost her balance and hit her head against my mother’s dresser. She was in coma for two weeks, and died the day I had the stitches removed from my lip.

That is how I tell this story. My mother, however, has different version each time she recalls the past.

“Don’t underestimate the power of your wishful thinking,” she nodded her head and claimed the death of my grandmother was a direct result from her deep desire for her to drop dead. “Sometimes if you want something bad enough, it will happen. But how it happens is in the Lord’s hands.” Then she continued on to the death of my father in an auto accident, a year after my grandmother’s. “See, my son, when you were born I was only twenty-nine years old, and there already were ten of you. In ten more years there’d be twenty of you. That is a scary thought, isn’t it? So I prayed and prayed hard, praying for my fertility come to an end, for my womb dry out like a desert. I prayed in my sleep. I prayed when your father on top of me. The Old Lord finally granted me my wish, but not without his wicked power. Instead of answering my prayers in the simplest way, he took your father away in an instant. Don’t underestimate the power of your wishful thinking.”

If that is true, mother, I completely understand your motivation.

****

And that, Wavers, is one helluva 1st person essay by a very talented screenwriter. It starts off with a shocking claim and it segues into some personal, painful truths. That, my dear Wavers, is how it’s done. In 500 words, Adam took us on a journey which was relatable and compelling. Great work, Adam!

If you have a completed 500 word 1st person essay or would like to take a crack at it, please submit HERE.

In the First Person

By Rouge Waver Diane Stredicke

I still have trouble calling myself a screenwriter.

I walk into my writing group every other Tuesday which meets in Times Square and we have to go around the table, introduce ourselves, and, of course, the introduction starts with, “Hello. My name is. And I’m a screenwriter.”

You see, I’ve never actually been paid to write a screenplay. And because long ago I equated what you do with what you get paid for, when someone asks me what I do, I immediately fall to the thing which pays my rent, buys my food, supports my family.

I recently attended a film festival. A script I wrote won an award. And the whole day at the festival was spent introducing me to others as a screenwriter. As the day wore on, I got used to the title. My real life, my real job, slipped into the background. It helped that I was on the other coast. The coast where they actually make movies. The coast whose entire identity is caught up with movie making. There, everyone writes movies. There, everyone seems to be an actor, a director, a producer or a screenwriter.

It was amazing how easily it slipped off my tongue.

“Me? I’m a screenwriter.”

And no one asked me what I do for a living. No one asked how I pay my rent. It was my secret for the day. There was no separation between those paid, and those unpaid. We were all writers. Together. Being celebrated.

On the plane, flying back to my reality, I secretly hoped that some unsuspecting average Joe would ask me, “What do you do?” I was ready for them this time.

But no one did.

No one looked at me while I flipped through a script. No one payed attention while I worked on a script in Final Draft.

I was just like everyone else on the plane. A working stiff. Doing what I do. To live.

1st Person

Just a few days ago, I invited Rouge Wavers to work those writing muscles and submit a first person essay (500 words, max) to the Rouge Wave. Some Wavers may know that first person is how the Wave-inatrix got her start, oh so many years ago. And you all must know by now that I hold it be self-evident that writing in many styles and for many venues is a must for a well-trained and toned writer.

What is a first person essay, anyway? Uh, well, it’s right in the name. It’s written in the first person. First person – or personal essays – can vary in length from 500 to 1200 to 2500 words and up. Most publications ask for 1200 words.

A good first person essay should do a few things: It should have a really great, evocative title. It should stay within the word count limit (a reality in this format), it should have a clear beginning, middle and end. It should wind up with a sentence that summarizes the theme and the point and it should have some “take-away” value – some meaning that the reader can use. You know, tips, inspiration, resources – something that leaves the reader a better person when they’re done.

You may be asking yourself – what in tarnation does first person essay writing have to do with movies, screenwriting or the Rouge Wave?! Nothing. And everything. The Rouge Wave is a blog dedicated to more than inspiring, entertaining, informing and occasionally riling screenwriters. It is a place where we talk about screenwriting primarily, but it is also a resource to keep you in shape physically, emotionally ands spiritually for the marathon that we are all running. As people and as writers. Writers write.

But, as per usual, I digress.

Reading great essays is a real pleasure, and something that the Wave-inaxtrix adds as a regular part of my fiction diet. The Sunday New York Times magazine is a great source of first person essays as are many other great publications. Best American Essays is a great place to really start exploring essay writing for those of you who are curious or already big fans.

Let’s give a big Rouge Wave congratulations to Jennifer, our first featured Rouge Wave 1st Person writer!

A FEW DEEP BREATHS

By: Jennifer Thomas

I started a new project.

And *gasp* it’s not a screenplay!

It’s a children’s novel. I have all these whimsical thoughts throughout my days caring for children and I finally sat down to write.

And I almost forgot how to write something that’s not a screenplay!

It took a few moments for the freedom of words to rush in, but golly I had a lovely time using every inch of my imagination this afternoon folks. Really, really great! I wrote what I thought, what I envisioned. I didn’t get caught up in the screenplay woes:

Am I being too literary?
Am I directing?
Describing too much?
Describing the wrong way?
Setting up a major plot in the first 10? The first 10 are so important?
Is there enough white space?
Am I telling and not showing?

…I just wrote.

And I wonder if this is how a pro feels when they write a screenplay.. Do you think that they feel the same ease of writing? That they don’t think about all these rules and exceptions and confusions and conventions…they just write? And they trust their own voice, and find peace and calm in screenplay structure.

And then I realize that…

1) They probably all have their moments of self-doubt.
2) They still manage to finish scripts they are proud of..

So, I set aside my magical, whimsical children’s story. And I open up Final Draft. And I stare at my script. The one that I said I’d finish months ago. The one that’s stuck on page 58. The one that I started with exuberance and excitement, until my inner critic got a strangle hold on me.

I take five very deep breaths…

And I just write.

****

All right, Wavers. How did Jennifer do? You can leave constructive comments here on the RW. Cast well-aimed marshmallows, not stones, for you may be next. And quite honestly, kudos are in order because for the most part, Jennifer has written a very nice essay here.

Rouge Wavers interested in toning and firming those writing muscles can submit first person essays for consideration HERE.