Sunday, July 5th, 20092009-07-05T16:09:00Zl, F jS, Y
Howdy, Wavers! Did everyone have a nice Fourth of July? Over the holiday weekend, a Waver wrote in with a great question (paraphrased):
“…is there really a phantom database in Hollywood that puts a permanent black mark by my name if I get a “pass” coverage or is that just an urban myth like the thing about the dog in the microwave or how that guy in Queens found a snake in his linguine?”
To which I say: The snake thing is totally not true.
But seriously. Well – no, there isn’t a phantom database, per se – a list of bad writers and their scripts that is passed around among executives. But there are tracking boards and there are development execs and their damned memories.
Think of it this way: Hollywood is a town that relies upon information, whether that information is garnered from the trades, from between the sheets or from rumors of rumors over cocktails. And this information shoots around very quickly. Sort of like those old vacuum tube delivery systems in offices. And with the advent of the Internet, information zips around this town so fast that it sizzles in the air above your head. What’s the hot script? Who sold what to whom?? Which exec was laid off and wound up where? What actor was seen at Whole Foods totally blotto? Hollywood is a town that fuels itself on information and it is the information age. So yeah, that is a little scary.
So the bottom line is that yes, if you send in a script to an agency (in particular) and it is so bad that the assistants chat about it on the tracking boards – you are not a happy camper. However, the chances of a tracking board mention of a bad script are significantly lower than that of a good script.
Let’s back up – what is a tracking board? Tracking boards are basically private message boards frequented by assistants and other industry types. They function as virtual water coolers. How much stuff gets discussed around the putative water cooler in your office? A lot. I have never seen nor heard mention of a writer being called out on a tracking board for being bad. Not by name. Even in Hollywood, there are limits.
But before you let out a big sigh of relief, let’s keep exploring the topic: Executives in Hollywood change companies frequently. So today’s assistant is tomorrow’s development exec. And today’s junior development exec at Company X is tomorrow’s senior creative exec at Company Y. So if your script goes to a production company and gets a pass, the reality is that the exec simply sends a “no thanks” to your agent or manager and moves on with his or her day – not interested. So far so good, right?
But what if, just what if the creative exec’s reader thought the script was SO bad that when they turned in the coverage they actually sat down and laughed it up a little bit with the exec? And the exec saw your name on the title page? And had a great memory? I am very sorry to have to report this, Wavers, but I have seen the situation above happen first-hand. Look, don’t hate the readers for having a laugh at your expense. Hate the writers who send in such bad work that it makes you all look bad. See, that’s what it is, Wavers. For every ONE of you who takes this really seriously and have some talent, there are 100 for whom the reverse is true. And that is what Hollywood thinks about aspiring writers. That you don’t care enough to do it right, that you have no talent and that you do not take our jobs seriously and you waste our time. That’s why everybody gets SO excited when we read something good. Hollywood cannot WAIT to elevate that writer and give him or her a ticker tape parade.
But let’s back up yet again:
Some of you reading The Rouge Wave may be new to the blog and perhaps new to screenwriting. And you’re thinking wait, I’m confused, ticker tape parades, readers, execs, tracking boards, oh my GOD I just want to know what to do with my script already!!
One question that a new Waver might be asking themselves about now is do I submit to an agent, to a manager OR to a production company? All three are mixed up together in this blog post and frequently are not separated in these discussions. That’s because getting your script read does not have a necessarily straight path. Yes, you should initially submit to an agent or manager. Usually. Most of the time. But some production companies will read unrepped work and if they love the story, then you can take the script to an agent or manager and say hey listen, Prodco X loves the script and they want to option or purchase it, will you rep me? To which the agent or manager will, in general, choke on their coffee because they say “yes” so fast.
But let’s back up even further:
Agent: hardcore, fast-talking salesman. Interested in making a SALE. Only interested in you, dear writer, if you have the goods to make a SALE and to do it again and again. They do not really care about your career, your feelings, your family, your son’s Little League team or where you went to school and how much you loved JULIET OF THE SPIRITS. They care only about making a SALE. Think Ari on “Entourage” and you pretty much get the gist. It is not uncommon for an agent to actually be an attorney as well. The agent will take 10% of the sale price your script garners; only an agent (or entertainment attorney) is legally qualified to sign the deal and set the monies in action. Agents are not generally interested in brand new, baby writers. Why? No paycheck is coming forthwith. Agents don’t got no time to “develop” you. If you’re not hot, you’re not selling and they ain’t interested.
Manager: a professional who is interested in grooming you for your first sale and many sales after that. Think someone significantly more mellow than an agent. The manager is going to take 15% of a sale you make. A manager is interested in staying with you for a long time as you make sale after sale. A manager will develop ideas with you. If you make a sale, a manager will bring an agent in to sign the deal and do the hardcore negotiating. Managers are really the place for writers to start. But here’s the thing with managers – it takes a LOT of time to develop a new writer and nurture ideas, etc. So if they read your first script, WATER COOLER DAYS, and think wow, this is a great new voice, and start working with you…but your next script, 26 DRESSES, strikes them as derivative and unpromising, then their belief in you takes an enormous hit, their faith is shaken in your ability to write well consistently and…they’ll cut you loose. Usually using the language of unreturned calls. It’s like dating, Wavers. Exactly like dating. No call you back…no interest in you. They speak a different language. I think they even sell a Rosetta Stone for Agent/Manager language. It goes like this: Manager Language: Silence. English translation: Your second script disappointed me and I’ve lost that lovin’ feeling and I think I may have been wrong about you and look, no hard feelings, but this Beemer ain’t cheap so see ya, pal.
Production Company: Some prodcos will read unrepped work. Not all. Some. They might be a smaller company more open to reading material and more comfy with release form legalities than a larger company. What’s cool about submitting to a prodco? It’s like going from trying to sell pastries at the county fair to selling chocolate chip cookies TO a chocolate chip cookie fan. In other words, a prodco will be looking for more specific material (a supernatural thriller, a romantic comedy set in Europe, a low-budget horror featuring tarantulas) and maybe you’ve GOT a low-budget tarantula script and now the question is will the prodco like THIS particular script and YOUR particular writing. If they do, you just have to be sure you protect your rights and go find representation to help you seal the deal. Now, there are some out there (my colleague Bill Martell is one) who write and sell scripts all the time, without rep. But I have to emphasize, this is really quite exceptional. And at minimum, you would need an entertainment attorney to sign the paperwork and ensure that your rights are being seen to in terms of a contract that guarantees payment upon delivery of various drafts and all of that boring stuff that’s not so boring when your check has not been delivered but the pages have. This has happened to me and it ain’t fun. Gather close, kids, not just everybody who says they are a “producer” is in fact an upstanding, honest or professional business person. And the detritus on the side of the road in deals gone sour is usually the writer.
But I have backtracked enormously. Is there a phantom database that keeps YOUR information online or in the minds and hearts of agents, managers and producers? Yes and no. Not physically, no. Your bad script, you writer from South Dakota or whatnot, is not interesting or significant enough to chat about on the tracking boards or anywhere else. Files are not kept – think about it – really? – busy Hollywood execs with the time to create lists or files of BAD writers? Silly, right? Ridiculous. Nobody has time for that. And you are not the center of the universe, dear writer, you are one of ONE HUNDRED scripts that arrived at X company that day.
That said, Hollywood is a very weirdly incestuous town and people do talk all the time. Good and bad. I don’t even want to tell you how often I have heard professionals sharing a laugh or a story about a bad script. Might they remember your name, too? Maybe. It’s entirely possible. A development exec at one company who read your script might then move on to another company where you have submitted another script and yes, might remember your name.
The bottom line is that everybody knows everybody and everybody shares a lot of information. The writer who is GREAT with the script that is PHENOMENAL is what will take up most of the gossipy air-time, for sure. But the laughable script, that will get some air too. Maybe not officially – but it will.
So the only thing you can do, Wavers, is to give them NOTHING to laugh about and everything to say WOW about. If you have given it your absolute best shot and get no response, don’t worry, your “pass” coverage is not on your permanent record. I feel pretty comfortable guaranteeing that writers who treated themselves and their work like true professionals by doing all of their homework and getting notes and feedback on the script will not be forced to wear the Scarlet “pass” forever.
Might you and your script get gossiped about? Even tracked on the tracking boards? Maybe. You cannot control that. Like anything in life. But you can control the quality of the work before you send it to someone in Hollywood. If you get a regular “pass” coverage meaning it’s just not for that company and/or your writing just did nothing for them, well, that’s not sensational enough to energize a busy exec to in some way vindictively gossip about that “pass” rating.
You know, it’s often very tricky to write about Hollywood because for everything that is true, there is something that counters that. I only speak from MY experience and I have never seen or heard or heard about a black list for “pass” writers. But I have seen and heard, many times over, execs and assistants on every level laugh or talk about a really bad script that they found particularly egregious. So it is only you, egregious writer, who should truly worry about having a black mark next to your name. Because the really GREAT scripts and the really BAD scripts – those are the ones that stand out. Just a regular “pass” script won’t follow you around like bad credit, no.
So bottom line: No, there is not an official system for black listing bad writers and scripts. But yes, there is a lot of gossip and shared information, so the risk is always present. Only one thing you can do and that is to not send a script to Hollywood that has not been gone over carefully by your friends, colleagues and ideally, a professional service. The onus is on you. Do not play dodge ball with the big boys if you are not prepared for a bloody nose.
Friday, June 5th, 20092009-06-05T15:30:00Zl, F jS, Y
So I live about…I don’t know…two blocks from the Silent Movie Theatre on Fairfax here in Los Angeles. Actually my neighborhood is weird – it’s at the geographic crossroads of Hollywood, West Hollywood and the Fairfax neighborhood, one of the oldest Orthodox Jewish neighborhoods in LA. So on a given day we have the hipsters, the Hasidim and gay couples walking their dogs all as they head toward Canter’s Deli for mutually agreed upon goodness. But anyway. The Silent Movie Theatre.
“Built in 1942 by John and Dorothy Hampton, The Silent Movie Theatre ran for decades as the only fully functioning silent movie theatre in the country. It has been fully restored to its original, vintage 1940s art deco design, along with a brand new screen and sound system, to help a new generation enjoy the pleasures of cinema in a beautiful theatre.”
So that’s pretty cool, right? I get emails every week from Cinefamily, which is a sort of club that meets at the Silent Movie Theatre and I think oh, I should go see that movie, yeah, sure. And I never do.
Several friends of mine have plans to go see THE HANGOVER this weekend and I thought, well, sure, yeah, I love my friends very much. But – I’m not that excited to see THE HANGOVER, honestly. It’s not really my cup of tea. Then I got this in my email inbox from the Cinefamily:
WINNEBAGO MAN, Sunday June 7th, 8pm Jack Rebney, aka “the angriest RV salesman in the world,” has delighted and fascinated millions of viewers with the hilariously foul-mouthed and ill-tempered outtakes from a Winnebago promotional video he made in the ’80s – one of the first and best underground videos to be passed hand-to-hand, before the Internet turned him into a full-blown phenomena. Filmmaker Ben Steinbauer takes on the seemingly impossible task of tracking down Jack, and his journey turns into a fascinating exploration of viral video culture, and what it means on a personal level to its sometimes unwilling subjects. When he finally tracks down Rebney, the real man is more savvy, irascible (of course), deep, weird, and cool than you could have possibly hoped for, and turns out to be more than able to hold his own in the modern media culture. In short, he is a star. A lovely and hilarious look at one man’s response to Internet humiliation, and how that so-called “humiliation” can become a beacon of light to many. All hail Jack Rebney: the patron saint of our collective frustrations. Dir. Ben Steinbauer, 2009, HDCAM, 90 min.
- and I thought okay THAT I would see. That sounds fascinating. And I chide myself, momentarily, because I have not gotten out to support the Cinefamily and partaken of their impressively out-there play list and schedule. So for any Angelenos reading TRW today, please get out and support a theater that is off grid. Way off grid. A theater with a true love for the art and craft of cinema and the way in which the movies reflect just how odd we humans are. Step away from the megaplex once in awhile and see what else is out there.
*** The Cinefamilyis an organization of movie lovers devoted to finding and presenting interesting and unusual programs of exceptional, distinctive, weird and wonderful films. The Cinefamily’s goal is to foster a spirit of community and a sense of discovery, while reinvigorating the movie-going experience. Like campfires, sporting events and church services, we believe that movies work best as social experiences. They are more meaningful, funnier and scarier when shared with others. Our home is the Silent Movie Theatre, one of Hollywood’s most beloved and beautiful cultural landmarks. There, the Cinefamily will provide a destination spot for Los Angelenos and others to rediscover the pleasures of cinema.
Monday, June 1st, 20092009-06-02T01:02:00Zl, F jS, Y
So this very sweet high school kid from New Jersey or somesuch ["Somesuch??" Hey, we grow great assistants out there! -Ed.] emailed The Script Department with some very thoughtful questions about my company and being a writer. I wrote up the answers to his questions which of course I answered honestly but simply, since this is a teenager and when I was done I thought hmm…while simplified, this is actually not bad.
****
What exactly is the role of your company when it comes to helping screenwriters get their materials to industry professionals?
The Script Department gives aspiring writers a sense of how their script would be received within the entertainment industry. We provide notes and feedback so that writers can address problems in their scripts – whether they be problems of execution or of plot, character or even the premise, so that when the writer then makes those adjustments, they have a professional, polished script to send out to decision-makers in Hollywood. Writers in the process become more adept at the craft of screenwriting. So often aspiring screenwriters have a skewed sense of just how original or accomplished their script really is and send it out to entertainment industry professionals only to get shut down immediately. We are there to help writers make a good first impression – and sometimes to tell them they are not quite ready to make any impression at all but should rather keep learning the art and craft of screenwriting. Writers who wish to be taken seriously and have a career in entertainment writing need to understand that the industry is quite competitive and shoddy work will tarnish their reputation.
What does your job at The Script Department entail?
I am the founder and director of the company so my job is quite detailed and complex but would include marketing and advertising decisions for my company, attending events and teaching classes, managing the readers who work for me, managing all financial decisions for my company and occasionally, working with clients one-on-one to provide story notes and consultations. In the big picture, my job is to keep the whole operation running on a day to day basis. I make sure our clients get what they paid for in a timely and professional manner, and I make sure my readers get paid well and on time for the work that they do. I also interact with other industry professionals making sure that they are aware of not only my company in general, but of a particularly good writer or script that I have so that I can make an introduction on behalf of the writer.
How many screenplays does The Script Department receive on a monthly basis approximately?
It depends on the month. Hollywood has seasons, just like other industries do. Our busiest time is in April and May because there are a lot of screenwriting competitions and writers want to up their chances so they get notes from us first. November, December and January are always a lot slower. In a busy month, we might evaluate about 100 scripts.
Are there any flaws you or The Script Department have seen in new screenplays written by new writers?
There are too many flaws to list here but the two most predominant ones are scripts that are not actually very original story ideas and scripts that are simply not executed well. That is to say, scripts with what we call “soft” structure, or under-developed characters or sometimes even formatting problems. The newer the writer, the more likely we will see these two issues.
Is there anything The Script Department is looking for in a screenplay when it wants to recommend a screenplay to industry professionals?
We are looking for a really great, really entertaining an original story idea and we are also looking for writers with what we call “voice.” In the entertainment industry “voice” means a writer with a great deal of individualism on the page. Style, in other words. Hollywood loves writers with voice. The thing is, newer writers often have to learn the rules first before they can really depart and really let their own personalities through on the pages.
From what you or The Script Department have seen, is there anything high-level executives and industry professionals who make screenplays into films want out of new screenplays?
It’s simple. They want to be entertained. They want to not be able to put the script down. And they want to think to themselves that this script is very unique, and it’s cinematic and it will attract great actors and audiences are going to love seeing this film. The entertainment industry is all about dollars, at the end of the day. And movies are very expensive to make. So industry executives want to see potential return for their investment.
What is it like to be an agent who represents screenwriters?
It is a tough way to make a living. Agents are basically salesmen. They have to convince buyers (studios) that what they are selling (the script) is worth several hundred thousand dollars and that further, the script, once made into a movie, is going to earn the studio a great deal of money down the line. Agents make about 10% of the sale of the script. So that means if they sell a script for $200,000, they take home about $20,000. Not too bad but living in Los Angeles is expensive and agents often have to keep up their image with expensive cars and homes. So an agent might need to earn upward of $150,000 a year to support his or her lifestyle. So that’s making seven+ sales per year in order to support that. Agents earn 10% of whatever their client earns, so they can also earn money if their clients gets a rewrite job, not just an outright sale. But the bottom line is that agents have to hustle, every single day, to make a living. That’s why they are so picky when it comes to representing a writer. They can’t afford to hustle and make phone calls and sweet talk buyers if the writer isn’t original and compelling and talented.
What should a new screenwriter be concerned on when s/he is writing a screenplay?
Brand new screenwriters should know that their first script probably won’t turn out that great. They should know that it can take years to really become a gifted screenwriter and that even after that, they may never sell one single script. They should take the art and craft of writing very seriously and study it wherever and whenever they can. New screenwriters should read as many scripts as they can and they should write every day and see a lot of movies. Knowing a lot about movies, particularly the genre you most want to write will put you miles ahead of many other aspiring writers. New screenwriters should have fun and go for it but also be patient and know that this can take quite some time…
Is there anything agents who represent screenwriters want most from a spec script written by a new screenwriter?
A brand new screenwriter can be very attractive to an agent because he or she can say they rep the “hot new writer” in town. They want originality, personality and saleability – of the writer and the script.
Do you believe there is anything notable about a screenplay that is sold to a major film studio versus one that isn’t?
There is a saying in Hollywood that if we knew what made a hit movie, every movie would be a hit. People spend hours analyzing why some scripts get sold to studios and produced and others do not. There doesn’t seem to be any rhyme or reason or pattern that really holds up over time. Studios are drawn to movies that are what they call “four quadrant,” meaning the story should appeal to both younger women and younger men and older women and older men – the widest swath of audience possible. Give you an example: 8 MILE – not a four quadrant movie, right? But UP, the new Pixar release, is. Pixar is great at producing four quadrant movies. So studios do look for wide audience appeal but they are also surprised all the time by movies they didn’t think would appeal to a wide audience but do anyway, like JUNO. A script by an absolute beginner will probably not sell to a studio because the writer probably doesn’t have the skill, creativity and chops of a more experienced writer. But if you put two scripts side-by-side, both written by skilled, talented, experienced writers – probably the one that is both very unique and would appear to appeal to a wide audience will get that sale. “The same but different” is another adage out here in Hollywood, meaning audiences want to watch what they are familiar with – a buddy comedy, a super hero story, a romantic comedy – and yet with different twists, different characters, different settings, etc. DISTURBIA is an interesting example of “the same but different.” Being trapped in a location, unable to escape a menacing threat is not a new story idea. In fact, Albert Hitchcock’s REAR WINDOW pretty much aced this story concept way back in 1954. But DISTURBIA put a new twist on it, and some new details that updated the concept but also put some new touches on it.
How should a writer treat rejection from an agency?
Writers should take rejection totally, 100% in stride. It is part of being a writer. Many very famous writers were rejected hundreds of times before they got published. Stephen King threw his break-out novel, Carrie, into the trash can, he was so frustrated by rejection yet again. Thank goodness he pulled it out of that trash can and submitted it – that novel kick-started a legendary and lucrative career. Rejection is part of life for a writer. You just keep moving on. Sort of like vendors selling balloons or churros or lemonade at an amusement park. You try to sell your writing and when you are rebuffed you just ask the next person if they want to read your story or script too. You have to be persistent, you have to have faith in yourself and you have to want it so bad you can taste it. Opinions are subjective; it only takes ONE person to say “yes” and there you will be – published, sold represented. Only one “yes”. Think about that. But the thing is, that “yes” will be buried under a pile of “nos.” You just can’t hear the word “no.”
I thank you a thousand times over for your willingness to assist me in my research.
You are so very welcome, Dale! I hope my answers have been helpful and good luck with your project!
Wednesday, February 18th, 20092009-02-18T16:30:00Zl, F jS, Y
What is the tone of your script? Well, clearly the tone should reflect the genre, right? Yes, of course it should. And if it doesn’t, your script is in trouble and so is the rating it will receive on a coverage report. Tone is one of what I call the “off-grid” ratings when you receive coverage. Remember, the usual rating grid that accompanies a coverage includes:
Premise Storyline Character Dialogue
Those are the big four. Now, to recap, premise refers to the IDEA, the basic jumping off point. Is it clear, does it pay off, is it original? Storyline refers to the narrative (and obliquely, the structure). In other words, HOW was the story told? How was the pacing and the style of the narrative itself? Character and dialogue are self-explanatory although a mystery to me is why the two are split up as separate categories. I have never seen good character work accompany bad dialogue or vice versa. I don’t make the rules, guys, I just observe them.
Off-grid categories are screenwriting elements that don’t appear on the grid but that are being judged in the coverage anyway: Tone, Theme, World, Logic, Stakes.
So we return to tone. Inconsistent tone might result in a romping romcom which includes some kind of climatic bar fight between the two rivals which suddenly reads like a scene from UNDER SIEGE. A tense horror script can have a playful love scene straight out of WHEN HARRY MET SALLY. A sci-fi script might suddenly have a sequence with the weighty dramaturgic leanings of TWELVE ANGRY MEN. And that can be cool, man. That can be really taking your script to the next level. If you pull it off. But pulling it off means that scene or sequence needs to have something in common with the tone of the rest of the script.
You need to make sure that the tone in your script – the tone you set on page one – is consistent through-out. Sometimes writers like to go full bore (not to be confused with full retard) and impress a reader with a NASTY fight scene – and hey, hats off – except this is a romantic comedy. Or – oh, oh, this is not uncommon – a graphic sex scene in the middle of a romcom. The couple is falling into bed together and suddenly things get a bit hardcore. And it’s like a record needle goes scccrriiitch!
A reader can tell when there’re problems with the tone when they suddenly realize they aren’t sure how they are supposed to be feeling. That realization could happen on page five, it could happen on page 62. But it happens. Confusion sets in. I know that sounds almost too casual a reflection to point to and yet – it is the best way I can articulate the gut feeling a reader gets when the tone is a problem. Is this – funny? Is this – scary? Should I be laughing here? I’m not sure. Houston – we have a problem.
How do you make sure the tone of your script is consistent? Make sure you are nailing the expectations of your genre, first of all, in terms of structure, character work and theme. Then pay attention to the language you use.
We know that language is a many splendored thing. I can say “where have you been” in about 10 ways and each would convey a different emotion and intensity. How many of you have written an email to someone (or god forbid, a letter!) and labored over each word, deleting, rewriting and carefully guiding what you are trying to say so that the missive is received in the way you want it to be received? An example I think we can all relate to is an email or text message to someone we like – but to whom we don’t want to give that away. Is the message too familiar? Too funny? Does it sound needy? We work and rework the message until it sounds inviting but neutral, playful but non-committal. You know you’ve done it. It is important that the message be received with a clear intentionality.
And so it goes with screenwriting. If you are writing a Western, you want to make sure the script conveys a sense of adventure, opportunity and lawlessness or maybe bleak existential survival. Clearly, your romcom is going to convey a sense of fun, laughter and romance. Make sure that if you’re writing an action-thriller that the tone is, well, actiony and thrillery. Horror should convey tension and fear. Which doesn’t mean you can’t have a light-hearted or funny moment in your horror script – but make sure that sequence doesn’t read like it came from a totally different script. The words you choose to use are a huge part of the tone you are establishing. And the pacing of the action will be a huge part of that tone as well.
Think about the way you want the reader (or later, viewer) to FEEL while reading your script. Think of the words you choose to use – EVERY word – the dialogue, the names of your characters, the names of the locations, the WAY the sun rises in a scene – as powerful tools to evoke a feeling in your script.
This is the first paragraph after the first slugline in the thriller that my partner, JP Smith and I wrote, the one that I have lately referred to here on TRW:
The western horizon is bruised and purple, punctuated by distant lightning. Rain is coming. The last hint of sun fades into darkness as cars swish by the tall pines and thick brush along the interstate…
Sound kinda ominous? It should. If this were the opening for a romcom, even if the sun were setting I promise the word “bruised” would be nowhere near this description. Or “distant lightning” or “fades into darkness.” We are using these scant 35 words to set the tone of the script to follow. The lake in our script is “dark and rippling.” The house is quiet. The neighbors are SUPER cheerful. All in service of a creepy tone which is like the yellow brick road leading the reader into an inescapably tense story.
So make sure to use language in the service of the TONE you are conveying. And make sure that all scenes and sequences are consistent with that established tone as well. I am sure you are quite capable of writing an explicit sex scene, super violent fight or very serious and dramatic scene – but does that scene belong in THIS script? Don’t get dinged for blowing the consistency of your tone.
Sunday, February 1st, 20092009-02-01T18:29:00Zl, F jS, Y
Rouge Waver Steve Axelrod sent me this me the other day and since it’s a nice, mellow SuperBowl Sunday I thought I’d share. Please note: I didn’t bother to correct any lack of punctuation or inconsistent capitalization. What are you – some cranky-ass reader? What – are you gonna PASS on this list? Don’t cause an imbroglio or be jejune.
It would warm my cockles and be quite scintillating if Wavers – especially those with Facebook – would adroitly conflate some of these words into conversation this week. It’s no panacea but it would be most felicitous. Oh, halcyon days, here we come…
The 100 Most Beautiful words in the English Language
1 adroit Dexterous, agile. 2 adumbrate To very gently suggest. 3 aestivate To summer, to spend the summer. 4 ailurophile A cat-lover. 5 beatific Befitting an angel or saint. 6 beleaguer To exhaust with attacks. 7 blandiloquent Beautiful and flattering. 8 caliginous Dark and misty. 9 champagne An effervescent wine. 10 chatoyant Like a cat’s eye. 11 chiaroscuro The arrangement of dark and light elements in a picture. 12 cockle A heart-shaped bivalve or a garden flower. 13 colporteur A book peddlar. 14 conflate To blend together, to combine different things. 15 cynosure A focal point of admiration. 16 desuetude Disuse. 17 diaphanous Filmy. 18 diffuse Spread out, not focused or concentrated. 19 dulcet Sweet, sugary. 20 ebullient Bubbling with enthusiasm. 21 effervescent Bubbly. 22 efflorescence Flowering, the opening of buds or a bloom. 23 elixir A good potion. 24 emollient A softener. 25 encomium A spoken or written work in praise of someone. 26 ephemeral Short-lived. 27 epicure A person who enjoys fine living, especially food and drink. 28 epiphany A sudden revelation. 29 erstwhile At one time, for a time. 30 eschew To reject or avoid. 31 esculent Edible. 32 esoteric Understood only by a small group of specialists. 33 ethereal Gaseous, invisible but detectable. 34 etiolate White from no contact with light. 35 evanescent Vanishing quickly, lasting a very short time. 36 exuberant Enthusiastic, excited. 37 felicitous Pleasing. 38 fescue A variety of grass favored for pastures. 39 foudroyant Dazzling. 40 fragile Very, very delicate. 41 fugacioius Running, escaping. 42 gambol To skip or leap about joyfully. 43 glamour Beauty. 44 gossamer The finest piece of thread, a spider’s silk. 45 halcyon Happy, sunny, care-free. 46 hymeneal Having to do with a wedding. 47 imbricate To overlap to form a regular pattern. 48 imbroglio An altercation or complicated situation. 49 imbue To infuse, instill. 50 incipient Beginning, in an early stage. 51 ingenue A naïve young woman. 52 inglenook The place beside the fireplace. 53 inspissate To thicken. 54 inure To jade. 55 jejune Dull; childish. 56 lagniappe A gift given to a customer for their patronage. 57 lagoon A small gulf or inlet in the sea. 58 languor Listlessness, inactivity. 59 lassitude Weariness, listlessness. 60 laughter The response to something funny. 61 lilt To move musically or lively, to have a lively sound. 62 lithe Slender and flexible. 63 loquacious Talkative. 64 luxuriant Thick, lavish. 65 mellifluous Sweet-sounding. 66 missive A message or letter. 67 moiety One of two equal parts, a half. 68 mondegreen A misanalyzed phrase. 69 nebulous Foggy. 70 niveous Snowy, snow-like. 71 obsequious Fawning, subservience. 72 odalisque A concubine in a harem. 73 oeuvre A work. 74 offing That part of the sea between the horizon and the offshore. 75 onomatopoeia The creation of words by imitating sound. 76 paean A formal expression of praise. 77 palimpsest A manuscript written over one or more earlier ones. 78 panacea A complete solution for all problems. 79 panoply A complete set. 80 pastiche A mixture of art work (art or music) from various sources. 81 peccadillo A peculiarity. 82 pelagic Related to the sea or ocean. 83 penumbra A half-shadow, the edge of a shadow. 84 peregrination Wandering, travels. 85 petrichor The smell of earth after a rain. 86 plethora A great excess, overabundance. 87 porcelain A fine white clay pottery. 88 potamophilous Loving rivers. 89 propinquity An inclination or preference. 90 Pyrrhic Victorious despite heavy losses. 91 quintessential The ultimate, the essence of the essence. 92 redolent Sweet-smelling. 93 rhapsody A beautiful musical piece. 94 riparian Having to do with the bank of a river or other body of water. 95 ripple A small, circular wave emanating from a central point. 96 scintillate To sparkle with brilliant light. 97 sempiternal Forever and ever. 98 seraglio Housing for a harem. 99 serendipity Finding something while looking for something else. 100 surreptitious Sneaky.
Sunday, January 18th, 20092009-01-19T01:41:00Zl, F jS, Y
So earlier today while nursing a slight cold and doing Very Useful Things, I noticed that my TiVo didn’t have my favorite channels listed. Despite the fact that I actually don’t watch much in the way of TV other than Seinfeld reruns and the occasional – OKAY FINE – Dancing With the Stars, I chose a handful of faves. Then began flipping through them idly (wow cold medicine makes you feel all fluffy inside) when I noticed a plethora of movies that I either haven’t seen or I loved. Check out this fun list:
JOHNNY BELINDA: Ahhhhh….never saw it? Has Jane Wyman? Good enough for me.
A DRY WHITE SEASON: Ohhhh I remember when that came out. I remember the trailer which may be why I have a vague sense I’ve seen this when I’m pretty sure I have not. (Does that happen to anybody else?)
BATS: Wait, didn’t a friend tell me recently this is a HILARIOUSLY bad movie? Always TiVo the Funny-Badness.
CRY, THE BELOVED COUNTRY: That is definitely a movie I think I thought I saw. Either that or the Long Term Movie Memory disk is offloading information. Anyway, South Africa, politics, tragedy, based on a book…Must seem serious and learned at parties concerning such.
HELLBOY: Have not seen that. And really should have. Whooo – just saved three bucks at the video store!
NINOTCHKA: Have not seen this. Oh Greta. I’m never as lonely as when I’m with you.
IT WAITS: This looks like a tragi-comically bad movie. Must TiVo the Funny-Badness. Always.
THE PETRIFIED FOREST: Horrified to admit I have not seen this. But – should I be? Ohhhh okay, Bette Davis and Leslie Howard. Done.
MARTY: I just gotta know why that line in QUIZ SHOW was so significant. Plus, two words: Paddy Chayefsky.
I WANT TO LIVE!: I am 95% sure I have seen this sort of goofy Susan Hayward tear-jerker. But what the hell. Live dangerously.
THE ITALIAN JOB: Haven’t seen it. Might like it. Not that invested.
FIERCE PEOPLE: What’s this?! Diane Lane movie I haven’t seen?
SHAMPOO: Due to an intense aversion to Warren Beatty when I was a child (god I despised the whole overtan, tight white pantsed, hairy chest, gold necklace thing in the ’70s, among so many other things) I have not seen this. And I should.
Are you making the most of your TiVo? Check out the future listings today and see if there are any movies on your Hall of Shame or What the Hell lists. It’s fun, it’s free and Wavers know how aspiring screenwriters with a dearth of film viewing hours particularly when it comes to seminal and classic movies gives me an EYE TWITCH. Do it for mama, guys. Watch more movies.
Monday, December 22nd, 20082008-12-22T15:36:00Zl, F jS, Y
Last evening, spending another delightful evening with a particularly delightful friend, we of course discussed our writing goals for 2009 – relative to where we have been as writers during this long journey which in both cases began some time ago. And as we discussed those who were also writing scripts and trying to break in but who eventually quit trying, my friend came up with a great metaphor – that of a funnel.
The top of the funnel being the widest part – where literally thousands of people say – I’m going to write a script! But the funnel narrows rather quickly as writers who thought they’d find success after writing one or two scripts learn the brutal truth. Huh uh. Doesn’t happen that way. It’s a bit of an endurance race. A marathon. So when success doesn’t occur to those at the top of the funnel almost immediately – one or three scripts in – they quit.
The writers who move lower into the funnel are the ones who keep writing – literally, for sometimes years. They write script after script, they keep networking, they take lumps, classes and sleeping aides. Those writers who reach the neck of the funnel are significantly less in numbers. It’s like a herd being thinned. These are writers who have continued the process, never giving up. They’re still standing – well, I mean, squished into the funnel. One of these days if they keep trying, they’ll SPLASH into the bottle below the funnel. Heaven, right?! It’s all azure seas, palm trees and Grey Goose vodka in the bottle, yes!
Not exactly. You’ve finally made a sale. Can you make another one? Can you get rewrite work? Should you quit your day job and just wait for those dollars to roll in? Hell no. The truth is once you splash into the bottle below the funnel – where actual paid writers live, you have to start paddling right away. Sink or swim. Top-of-the-funnel writers mistakenly fantasize that one sale will a) be enough money to live on FOREVER! b) offers will then flow to them REGULARLY! Sadly, neither is true. Say you make a sale and get paid scale. Six figures. Say low six because you’re new to the splashy bottle. So what’s that – maybe 200K if you’re pretty lucky? Okay, now let’s pay your attorney and manager. And taxes. So maybe you’re going to bank something like 100K after all that. Give or take. I’m not a mathematician so just go with me. Say out of that 100K you spend even 25% on yourself immediately – go on vacation, pay off a credit card, put a juicy downpayment on a car. You’ve got about 75K left. Wow, that’s enough to quit your day job and support your family on for a year! Or – is it? Okay say it is. What about the next year? Are you going to make another sale? Can you count on that? How about the year after that?
I had dinner with an A-list writer familiar with the Academy Award recently and he mentioned morosely how there’d been so little work for the past couple of years. And this man is ON the A-list. I once heard that the WGA estimates that only 35% of their membership is working each year. That leaves – wait – yes, 65% of guild members out of work on a given calendar year.
So there are many things to ponder: where are you in the funnel? That’s okay if you’re at the very top, having written one or three scripts. Or maybe you’re in the neck, you’ve written six or seven scripts and optioned something once. Do you have a realistic idea about what splashing down into the bottle is going to be like – for real? Do you have the ambition, nerves of steel and passion to not know where your next writing income is going to come from? Do you mind if there are two or three year stretches in-between? Can you live on promises and martinis?
We can all relate to over-inflating our expectations only to be disappointed when we arrive at our destination. Oh – this is Namibia? Where’s like the flocks of flamingos and herds of zebras like on tv? Can you drink the water? I have to eat that? What do you mean – rebel coup?! Does your idea of “making it Hollywood” look something like this?
Of course it does. It did to me, too. For awhile. But the closer you get to the bottom of the funnel, the more you can hear the faint cries of surprise from those just ahead of you on the water slide.
Making it all the way down through the funnel and into the bottle is more like being a trained paratrooper. When you finally splash down you have to immediately reorganize and strategize your survival in enemy territory.
Don’t get me wrong – I’m excited to splash into the bottle. But I’m realistic. Somebody might just hand me a towel a year later, thank me for playing and escort me to the poop deck with a party favor. This is a very long way of saying – keep your day job. And keep your expectations realistic. One sale will NOT necessarily change your life. I take that back – it will – but probably not in the way that you have imagined. Are you really ready for this lifestyle? Is it what you really want? I know so many writers who made it into the bottle with a sale and then have been dog paddling ever since with no other successes of note.
Screenwriting magazines are full of interviews with exceptions – but inside that bottle there’s a tiny little tropical island where the A-list writers live. Don’t be fooled into thinking that little island is shared by more than a tiny minority. And even then – even then, my friends, those A-listers are on an episode of Survivor and can – and do – get kicked off the island at any time. Just keep it real, Wavers. That’s today’s upshot. Writing is a bitch of a way to earn a living. Even when you’re actually doing it.
Sunday, September 7th, 20082008-09-07T16:51:00Zl, F jS, Y
I read an article in the New Yorker a couple of years ago – could have been five – time compresses when you get older, oddly – about cab drivers and brain scans. These scientists performed brain scans of cab drivers and found that a certain part of the brain – we’ll call it the navigation-a-thalamus -is larger than those in normal people. And they found that when they measured the navigation-a-thalamus in new cab drivers, it was smaller than that of experienced ones. So in doing the same thing over and over, a certain part of the brain grew and became more powerful.
It’s the same when you’re a reader of scripts. A part of your brain gets really muscular. Which explains the odd head shapes you see so much of here in LA.
So who here saw RATATOUILLE? There’s a scene in the movie in which our hero, Remy, looks at several letters and documents and certain key phrases float into focus, blurring out other, less important phrases and words. And in this way, little Remy is able to put together and understand an important plot point.
In the class I taught at the Great American Pitch Fest which was essentially an inside view of how readers do their jobs, I gave the class participants ten pages to read and timed the read for four minutes. That’s 40 seconds per page. And that’s a little generous. In reality, an experienced reader will spend about 30 seconds on each of your pages. And that RATATOUILLE thing happens; sluglines, action lines and lines of dialogue come into focus while others fade to the background. Because the reader’s brain is trying to quickly line up information to get a grasp of what’s important so that the information can later coalesce into a cohesive whole – your story. We all have a vast, information-gathering and interpreting super-computer atop our shoulders.
That’s why dense action lines do you no good. You can write as little or as much as you want on the page but when it’s read, about 30 seconds will be spent on that page. If your action lines are dense, my brain is scanning for the key words or phrases that help me understand what’s going on. It’s not conscious. There is an urban myth that readers consciously skim because we just don’t give a damn. Untrue. It’s the way the brain works.
Great example: we had a script in the Silver Screenwriting Competition which was written beautifully and was setting up, on page one, a small mid-western town that was past it’s prime. The writer did an almost Malick-like description of ruts in the road and waving rows of corn and oil rainbows in the puddles. And it was gorgeous. But the reader was simply scanning for: small town. Midwest. Seen better days. She paused in her judging and said you know, this is great but not necessary.
In some ways it’s like reading a book – you imagine the scene based on the words and that’s part of the fun. But when you dictate every single aspect of the scene, I not only get bogged down in your details, you disallow me from just flowing along with the story and letting my own imagination fill in the details like the mud puddles after the rain.
Now dialogue – dialogue our brains can’t skim; we need to read every line because that’s where the plot is happening.
Everybody reads and evaluates information: directions, recipes, letters, instructions. When you’re reading a script you’re doing the same thing but what your brain is doing is actually pretty complicated: You’re information gathering so you can follow the narrative, you’re mentally bookmarking significant moments or details and then on another sub-level, you are analyzing theme, character arc and general entertainment levels of everything working together. A reader’s brain on a CAT scan is probably a complicated field of fireworks.
Now – one of my mentors, Stephanie Palmer, teaches that the human brain can really only process three pieces of important information in sixty seconds. In this case, she talks about that in the context of pitching. I’m listening to you and my brain is trying very hard to HEAR those key points that coalesce into your story making sense.
Your brain is always working hard to gather and interpret information. A friend is telling you about his or her day. And your brain is working on so many levels in the moment of hearing the story. WHAT happened? HOW should I respond? What does this MEAN? HOW can I relate?
So your brain is actually hearing: blah blah blah MY BOSS blah blah DID THIS BAD THING blah blah blah I WENT TO A GUN STORE blah blah blah. Now, your friend might prattle on quickly, with a lot of dense thoughts but those three things are the ones you plucked out and ordered as being important.
Similarly, reader’s brains are gathering, ordering and interpreting information very quickly.
On your page you should have about THREE things for me to absorb in order to not only follow your narrative but interpret your story:
Plot development Character development The dna of the premise and the theme
A great exercise is to take a page out of your script, get a highlighter and highlight those significant pieces of information. Highlight where your plot moves forward, highlight an example of character development and highlight what signifies the dna of your premise on the page. All of these components can show up in action or dialogue.
If your premise is: A man searches for his long lost sister in Peru only to find that she’s been kidnapped by an eco-terrorist group bent on taking over the government, then the dna of that plot: man searching for sister – Peru – kidnapped by eco-terrorists – taking over the government – should show up, some way, some how on every page. Everything, every creative decision you make, should evidence your premise on every page. I should never read a page in which this dna is not present.
Because, to put it in more work-a-day terms, that is what the reader’s brain is doing. It’s scanning your pages trying to recognize and interpret what your premise is and then how, on every page, that is falling into a pattern that can be later interpreted. You know how the brain works – like a computer. So it sees “eco-terrorist” and instantly images and meaning flood into the brain. It sees “frat party” and the same thing happens.
So don’t fear the reader (which needs more cowbell, honestly) but rather understand that setting aside their preferences, how their day has gone so far today, whether this is a competition script or a regular coverage – readers have a highly developed sense of ordering information and analyzing it for logic, resolution, complication, character development and overall entertainment. It’s not personal – it’s a brain activity. So when a reader reviews a script and by page 18 the brain is unable to coalesce this information into a shape which is in some way recognizable and satisfying – you’re failing in your job as a writer.
Some say that scripts are like blueprints – true enough. If anyone knows anything about technical writing, even there, as I write the instructions for putting together your new Ikea cabinet, I need to write the instructions in such a way that you can follow easily and connect the dots. It has to be in some kind of order that your brain can interpret. Same with stories.
Turn your eyes away from the Rouge Wave right now. And write down the three words or phrases that float to the surface of your awareness. Do it.
I’ll wait.
Now. What did you jot down?
The way brains work. 30 seconds a page. Three things on every page.
Or maybe you jotted down a slightly different list, subject to your interpretation. Pretend that readers are students cramming for a test the night before. They are information gathering. What stands out? What seems important? If you had to put the script down right now, this minute, and pitch it, what would you say? What would you be ABLE to say? That’s what happened during the judging process the other night.
Put yourself in a reader’s shoes. It will help your own writing in a huge way. Inestimably, in fact.
Wavers know I am teaching a how-to reader correspondence course (sidebar). If you can do this, I think it has the potential to move your writing chops into a whole new realm. If you can’t or don’t want to do the homework necessary, get hold of some scripts and do the 30-second test. Then go back and highlight the pertinent information. Do it to your own scripts. Become familiar with the idea that every page should contain, ideally:
Plot development Character development The dna of the premise and the theme
For you argumentative types, yes, you can have a page with two of those three qualities but why be stingy? The best scripts have all three. Think about it.
Monday, August 18th, 20082008-08-19T02:20:00Zl, F jS, Y
Today I discovered a really great new blog – The LA Grind – and here (re)present a post from about a week ago that I found quite informational. I mean, at first you read it and you think SUPER DUH but then you realize – or, okay, I realized, that my grasp of exactly who does what was not as strong as I thought it was. Thank you, Russell – cupcake for you!
*****
I was at a seminar last night for tv writers and a question was introduced which made me realize many people don’t understand the difference between a Network, Studio, and Production Company. So,
Network: A network distributes programming. They are the STATION that puts a show on the air, ABC, NBC, CBS, FOX, USA, TNT, ESPN, etc. there are six major companies that own networks for SCRIPTED TELEVISION: FoxCORPS, CBSCORP, GE, Time Warner, Disney, Viacom, Sony.
FOX-Owned by FoxCorps CBS-Owned by CBSCorps NBC-Owned by GE CW-Co-owned by CBS and Time-Warner ABC-Owned by Disney
These channels DO NOT produce programs. They BUY programs and sell ad space to recoup their cost. You may ask, but Russell, I who produces these shows, I thought… Well they are produced by…
Studios: Each show is produced by a STUDIO. Studios are designed to FINANCE and PRODUCE television. These studios DO NOT distribute television, the finance shows and SELL THEM TO NETWORKS. If you are asking HOW Fox doesn’t have a studio, the simple answer is THEY DO. Each network ALSO has a STUDIO that produces shows that air on their network.
FOX- 20th Century Fox CBS-CBS Paramount NBC-Universal Media Studios CW-Warner Brothers ABC-Disney Studios
So, you’re pretty confident now, that whatever is on FOX is produced by 20th Century, CBS Paramount is producing everything on CBS, etc etc. Right? WRONG. While 20th Century does produce many fox shows, like 24, they also sell shows to other networks. My favorite current example is SCRUBS. Scrubs is produced by DISNEY, but was DISTRIBUTED by NBC. However, when NBC cancelled Scrubs, it was PICKED-UP by ABC for another season.
Why does this happen? A bevy of reasons; A show a studio is developing doesn’t fit on the network they are producing for, a network thought they would like a show but then decided after seeing it they aren’t wild about it, the studio specifically produces a show for another network, etc. etc.
When I lived in DC, I met a guy who worked at History Channel’s studio, just like the model I’ve been talking about, but smaller. He explained their system like this. History Channel is only obligated to buy X amount of the content they produce. If history channel passes on a show, they are free to shop that show to other networks.
The point is, it’s reciprocal. Sometimes the studio produces the show for another network, sometimes the network doesn’t want the show. However, this shows why you’ll be watching a show on CBS, and see a 20th Century Fox logo. Or when you’re driving past the Warner lot and see banners from other network’s shows.
Production Company: Most people think a production company is the company that actually PRODUCES the show. However, this is a misnomer. In actuality, a production company has EXACTLY the same role as a studio, but they are not owned by a network. Most production companies that work with television are successful producers, showrunners, directors, etc. That have OVERALL DEALS with a studio because of their success.
An OVERALL DEAL means this…A Studio will pay a production company X dollars, and in return they will own EVERYTHING the production company produces, whether it’s ideas, scripts, etc, for the length of the deal. People like David E. Kelley, Joss Wheadon, J. J. Abrams have overall deals with studios.
So, there is a general overview of WHAT each type of entity does. Next time you’re watching a show and you see a production company, a studio, and a network, you’ll understand why it is the way it is.
Next time…I’ll try to explain what syndication is…maybe…unless I forget.
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