Just Effing Entertain Me

What’s New With Josh Zetumer

Good morning, Wavers! And did everybody have a nice weekend? As the deadline approaches for the Silver Screenwriting Competition (May 1, mark it on your calendar!), Margaux Froley thought it would be a great time to get an update with Josh Zetumer. Josh will be dining with the Grand Prize winner this year, in case you forgot. So here’s the latest:

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It’s been nearly a year since our last interview with Josh. He’s been hard at work finishing DUNE and even had time to do rewrite work on Guy Ritchie’s SHERLOCK HOLMES. Suffice it to say, Josh is still a “working screenwriter,” and I might even venture to say he’s one of those coveted Hollywood A-list writers. Despite his demanding schedule, Josh has agreed to have lunch with the Grand Prize winner of the Silver Screenwriting contest and answer a few questions for you Rouge Wavers.

Josh, last time we spoke you had just gotten the job for DUNE. At the time you mentioned your love of sandworms. After finishing a draft on that project, how do you feel about sandworms now?

Groan.

But really, that sounded like a very tough project to crack. How did adapting DUNE compare to writing something of your own on spec?

For me, this project was infinitely harder than a spec. I get to a point on most projects where I want to quit/have a near-panic attack. I’m beginning to realize, as horrible as that is, it’s all part of the creative process. It’s like an acid trip; it’s fun, but you know that for at least a couple hours you’re going to be fearing for your life. On DUNE this was especially intense. The book is amazing, but parts read like physics homework. There’s so much terminology, and so much is internal – characters second-guessing each other, trying to gauge situations. The key for me was to keep saying, “What can I do visually to express this idea?” I feel like this is a pretty important question you should be asking yourself on every screenplay. Show not tell.

As to the sandworms, yeah I still love them. What’s not to love? I’m just hoping they look cool onscreen.

You mentioned that you did some rewrite work on SHERLOCK HOLMES. How much prior SHERLOCK knowledge did you have going into that? What did you to do prepare for something like that?

I’d been a fan of the stories, but I definitely needed a refresher course. The crazy thing about some of these production rewrites (jobs where you’re rewriting the script just before or during filming) is that you usually have a matter of hours, not days, to decide if you’re taking the job. Then suddenly you’re on the clock, and that can be scary. On SHERLOCK I bought a book of short stories and was literally reading on the plane on the way to meet the producers. Doing research is normally one of my favorite parts of the process, but in this case there just wasn’t time. The nice thing was that Robert Downey Jr. had such a clear view of the character, it was easy to dive right in.

Sorry, I have to ask. How was Robert Downey, Jr. to work with?

I know this is the stock answer to the “What was so-and-so like to work with,” but in this case it’s 100% true: He’s incredible. Completely deserving of his celebrity. Hanging out with Robert is kind of like going to the carnival; you just follow him around, trying to write frantically while he drops one crazy/brilliant aphorism after another. The only thing is, he’s so charismatic and witty that he kind of turns everyone else into a satellite. You become Downey-adjacent. I think if I hung out with him on a regular basis I would develop serious self-esteem issues. I am not now, nor will I ever be, as cool as Robert Downey, Jr.

You have been steadily getting assignments in Hollywood for a few years now…even with your established track record, how do you feel about getting the next job?

Um…cautiously optimistic? Two years ago I probably would have said “terrified.” Like take-a-klonopin-and-go-to-sleep-shivering scared. I think generally my anxiety about work has become more manageable, but it still definitely lingers. You work so hard to get anywhere, and then the moment anything positive happens the first thing you tell yourself is, “This will not last. This is all going to be taken away.” It doesn’t help when you talk to older screenwriters and all they tell you is, “Enjoy it while you can, kid.” Seriously, any writer who’s spent more than 10 years in Hollywood turns into the grim f*cking reaper.

How important has your relationship with your representation (agent and manager) been in starting and then maintaining your career?

The most important thing in the world. If I could give only one piece of advice to first-time screenwriters it would be: Don’t write a script to sell it, write it to land an agent. Agents and managers read 10 to 15 scripts a weekend, three of them on the treadmill. So write a script that’s fun to read, that shows a distinct and confident voice, but don’t try to second-guess the marketplace. You can kill yourself following trends and trying to predict what will sell. A lot of people also ask, “Why do you need both an agent and manager?” This may not be true for everyone, but in my experience, having both has been invaluable. A manager can produce, and that can be helpful landing gigs. My first studio job – writing a movie called THE INFILTRATOR for Leonardo Dicaprio – was something my manager was producing. Managers and agents also have incentive to set you up with their director clients, so that can be very helpful as well.

If I were an unrepresented screenwriter with a terrific spec, what do you think my best options would be for launching my career?

First move to Los Angeles. It’s hard enough to get anyone to notice you in Hollywood. It’s even harder if you’re living in Maine. Some people do the query letter thing – sending unsolicited scripts to agents – but I don’t know any instances of this actually working (that’s not to say it can’t happen, it just seems like a longshot). A big part of being a screenwriter is hustling, selling yourself. You need to be very proactive. Enter as many screenwriting contests as you can. Read blogs. Try to meet people who are connected to talent agencies. All it really takes to get the ball rolling is one person who believes in you. This can be an indie producer, a writer who has an agent, etc. In my case it was two guys: a writer named Chris McKenna who gave my spec to his agent, and an assistant named Mark Tuohy who gave the script to his boss, a packaging agent. I went to high school with Chris, and Mark I met through an old girlfriend, so you never know where these connections will come from. It’s either that or get creative. Become a valet, find out where Steven Spielberg eats lunch, and leave your spec on the passenger seat. Actually, I’m sure he gets that all the time.

Thank you, Josh. Is – is that a sandworm??

Ha.

All righty, Wavers. Get back to work. And don’t forget, May 1st looms, so get those scripts in and you just might be the person asking Josh about life in the fast lane.

Creating a Successful Web Series: I Want To Go to There…

My dear friend Michael Perri, talented writer, producer and mimic was nice enough to write something for us here on the Rouge Wave about creating a web series:

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Picture this: Some of your coolest peeps are kicked back in your pad, yukking it up over brewskis or wine and something to nosh on. The conversation is free flowing and TAH-DOW! Someone yells out, “OMFG, that story is so freaking amazing I almost tinkled in my boot cut jeans!” Another one of your besties chimes in, “Ya dude, we like should totally film that and put that on the web… like a series!” Everyone pauses for a brief moment as eyes widen like y’all just invented a way to turn water into gin. You pop out of your favorite La-Z-Boy and declare, “THIS COULD BE THE BIGGEST WHATCHAMACALLIT THAT CYBERSPACE HAS SEEN SINCE AL GORE CREATED THE INTER-WEB!”

The allure to achieve long lasting fame through the Web is a powerful magnet. I am not talking about the 30 seconds of fame generated by viral videos like “The Landlord,” “Star Wars Kid,” or “Chocolate Rain.” I am talking about creating a viable online episodic series that people tune into each and every day.

With the millions of eyeballs gazing at LCD screens across the world and the potential for achieving inter-fame so high many ponder: What truly makes a great Web Series?

Blogs like Rougewave give words meaning; your Pod-casts give those same words a voice, while Vlogging (video-blogging) can even provide them with some kind of a face. Your choices are never-ending. Whether your web series is reality or scripted, it needs to have the right DNA to grow up big and strong, play in the big leagues and eventually dunk the ball.

But, the World Wide Web is still like the Wild-Wild West. Everyone is trying to mine for Internet gold. There are no barriers to entry and anyone can stake a claim. But can you harvest a juicy nugget and cash it in for fame and a new Aston Martin? I’m not going to bore you with the details of designing the site, fishing for ad dollars, tagging the site for searches… because without stellar content, a fresh hook and that uncontrollable variable of variables called luck – you just can’t be a success.

So what makes a great Web Series?

Goals: Whether your goal is to sell a boatload of advertising space or boldly go where no cyber-punk has ever gone before, make sure you have the target in mind so that everyone aboard the project is on the same page. It’s funny how many times I ask that question and people sputter out random thoughts instead of their mission statement.

Characters: Former NBC Chief Brandon Tartikov was a television executive credited with turning around NBC’s low prime time reputation. He had a vision: great characters make great entertainment. The same holds true for cyberspace. Look at the top web series out there today: Ask a Ninja, Chad Vader, Dr. Horrible, Jesus People and my beloved Citizen Kate. They all are centered on a main character(s) that have a goal, whether it’s to answer your deepest questions through eyes of martial arts killing machine or meet Barack Obama – a strong proactive character with quirks and goals is certainly captivating.

Planning: You must put on your project manager cap or find someone who is detailed, task-oriented and cool under fire. As producer, you need to plot out the details of your shoot. Just like a full-scale production company, you’ll need to budget, hire, cast, procure, write and record. You may even get more bang for the buck if you prep and plan in stages. The biggest mistake people make is to try and do it all at once. Take your time.

Marketing: Word of mouth is still king. Within nano-seconds you can Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, Text, email (or for heaven’s sake call) someone and share the funniest thing on the web. My inbox(es) were off the hizzy with the new Andy Samberg short minutes after it aired on SNL. So what if you don’t have Jamie Lynn Siegler or Justin Timberlake in your video? Use every avenue to let the world know your series has arrived.

Sales: Want to make money? Well, Veoh and Revver are some of the sites that will share advertising dollars with you. If all goes well and you’re thinking of trying to sell your series, all the networks have New Media groups or spinoffs for short form content on the Web. Disney recently launched Stage 9 in the hopes it could incubate shorts into movies or TV shows. But you’ll need an introduction. Why not try uber agent UTA’s spin off, 60 Frames? They develop, produce and manage new media clients and have one of the loudest mouths in the biz. You can even create series for mobile phones. Bunnygraph Entertainment specializes in bringing creative minds and product companies.

Crossover Appeal: If you want to move over to the heights of the TV plateau, you must ask yourself, “Could I really watch this on TV?” But, even that’s hard to gauge these days. Remember Quarterlife? (Sorry NBC.) Pretend you get to put a show on air and millions will watch. Look at “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” or “Monster Garage.” Both pilots were shot on a dinky camera but both made it to series. Why? The idea had substance + awesome characters + a fresh hook…oh and luck…

Substance: Above all, your web-series must be about something. Then, how much substance is required for the Web? To just say your story must have a beginning, middle and end is not enough. It has to be UNIQUE! Is it timely? Is it provocative? One of the funniest things I have ever seen on the web was a short when a girl was enjoying an ice cream cone, then comedian Louis CK strolls up, steals it and then runs off to a nearby helicopter and flies off. All in 10 seconds. Never seen that before!

Okay. So, think you can beat the thousands of other people out there trying to create the next Chad Vader?

Ultimately, you have 10 seconds to grab some Web-surfer’s attention and up to five minutes to hold it. If your objectives are clear and your characters and story hook are distinctive, you’re well ahead your competition.

You have to have the patience, drive and creative fortitude akin to an indie filmmaker over and over again. Look what happened to Robert Rodriguez and P.T. Anderson after they wrote, directed and produced their movies. They tried, failed, tried again and succeeded. Don’t be afraid to try and try again to something sticks.

May the Web be with you…

The Mini-W Reviews: Slumdog Millionaire

There are 3 words that define the film Slumdog Millionaire: Best Picture 2008.

Every year the Academy searches for the movie of the year that inspires, that moves the audience, that has impact. This is precisely what Slumdog Millionaire does. Jamal Malik, a contestant on India’s version of “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?” and winner of 10 million dollars, is accused of cheating. He is interrogated and forced to prove how he knows every answer to all of the questions.

Jamal tells of each life experience that he has had, revealing why he remembers each answer, such as who is on the 100 dollar bill. Jamal has led a tragic life. Growing up in the slums of Bombay, and orphaned at a very young age, Jamal and his brother Salim have made it by themselves through unimaginable pain, fear, and poverty.

With amazing accomplishment, heart breaking loss, and unbreakable love, the story of Slumdog Millionaire is one that will go on for a long time. Don’t hesitate to get out of the house, go to the theater, and take the time to watch this movie. Keep in mind that it’s an intense experience, not to be mistaken for a feel-good film. The ticket at the Arclight was so worth it.

I give Slumdog Millionaire five out of five jellybeans.

Why Table Reads Are Fun and Cool!

Last evening at the Attic Theater, as I am wont to do about once each month, I hosted a table read. This time the guest of honor was Rouge Waver Chris Bosley. Chris was nice enough to stay up late afterward and write a blog post for y’all about what it was like:

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One of the challenges for an aspiring screenwriter — okay, any screenwriter — is becoming comfortable with uncertainty. Even if you come up with what you think is a solid story premise and dedicate yourself to executing that concept in the form of a well-written script, i.e., unique voice, visual scene descriptions, memorable characters, snappy dialogue, complete unity of theme, until someone reads that script and puts up a truckload of money to turn it into a film . . . you just. don’t. know. Will anyone “get” my vision for this story? Or is it just 110 pages of self-indulgence that will only cause the reader to hurl it across the room in frustration??

So it’s nice, short of an actual sale or the like, to have those occasional moments when you can see your work click with others and be reasonably confident that, okay, maybe it doesn’t totally suck. I was lucky enough to have one of those moments tonight at the table read Julie arranged for me at The Attic Theater. The subject matter was the first act of my rom-com titled SOULMATING. Although I placed in the quarterfinals of Silver Screenwriting with it, there was obviously something that wasn’t connecting enough to take it into the later rounds. And since I hope to enter it in other upcoming contests, I need to figure out what the problems are before I can fix them. This was the first step for me in that next rewrite phase.

Naturally, Julie being the font of support and encouragement that she is, took that goal and amped it up about 500% by surprising me and bringing along her friend Steve Faber, writer of “Wedding Crashers.” So that was pretty damn cool right there. And in the interest of making the most of my read, I also dragged along my friends Max Adams and Lee Patterson. Max is a past Nicholl fellow, writer of the feature “Excess Baggage,” and coordinates the online writing workshop that I’ve been in for the past two years; Lee is a fellow workshop member and just in from London because he won the Nicholl himself this year. Like the old Sesame Street song says: “One of these things is not like the other, one of these things just doesn’t belong.” I’m only the guy with the first act of a script that needs some help.

But then another cool thing happened as the read began: people laughed. And in the right spots. This might sound like a minor thing, but especially with a comedy, making people laugh is somewhat of the essence. So that was good too. But the best part was getting notes and feedback from the actors and other writers in the room. Like, insanely great feedback. Steve diagnosed several fundamental character issues with laser precision. Things I kind of knew were hanging out there became instantly clarified. And with plenty of possible fixes for those issues as well. Max, Julie, and the others also gave me awesome suggestions on plot and story improvements that, if I can implement them, will (hopefully) make a good script great. My head is still swimming as I try to absorb and process everyone’s comments, but in a good way. In a way that will fuel a whole round of new creative thinking about the script as I take the next pass. Many thanks to everyone — actors and writers — who gave of their time and selves to help me become a little more certain about my script.

To paraphrase Ferris Bueller, it is so choice. If you have the means, I highly recommend taking advantage of the service that Julie provides. All you have to do is bring snacks!

A Day in the Life of a P.A.

I asked my friend Julie M. to tell Wavers about her first experience as a P.A. Julie had a lot to say and the result is this delightful guest blog.

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3:45 am. Pitch black. Your alarm sounds. Panic. Your eyes peel back as you struggle to remember why you’re up so early. A thin layer of sweat begins to bead on the palms of your hands. Panic. Your brain registers: Today is your first day on the job. Not in the real world. Not in the fake world. In the only world: HOLLYWOOD.

4:10 am. You rush to your car Mapquest directions in hand. Moments later you’re on the road sipping on burnt, overly flavored 7-11 coffee. Nervous and excited for the adventure ahead, you gaze out your window as the sun peels back eyes of its own. You see rays of hope. Hope that after today everything will change. For today you take your first step onto the path of becoming a writer, director, producer, or filmmaker. Today you are a P.A.

A P.A. To some it may stand for Pennsylvania. Others may recognize it as a public announcement. The entertainment industry defines a P.A. as a production assistant. One would deduce from this title that the job of a production assistant is to assist in production. This is true in a minimalist sense. To imagine a P.A. just think of the duties of a personal assistant, multiply them by ten, cube that, put him or her on set and you’ve got yourself a production assistant.

My first gig as a P.A. was working on a two day shoot for a prominent commercial director who had his own production company. The job was an Apple spot. The set was located on Hidden Valley Ranch with acres of rolling green hills, voluptuous oak trees, quaint creeks, and lots of salad dressing (not really). Truly picturesque. Apple was releasing a new computer and the shot was set up where the moment a young man turns on his new Apple computer, he is blown away by how amazing it is literally through a mocked up country home out the front door landing on the base of a large oak tree.

7:00 am. The production coordinator arrives. I’ve been on set for 90 minutes already. She hands me my first call sheet, which was a detailed schedule of the day’s events, and a walkie-talkie. “Don’t lose this, always keep it on,” she said, “This is your lifeblood.” I was told to wait for further instruction, so I meandered over to the Craft Services table for breakfast grazing. Note: Craft Services is like Wolfgang Pucks on set. It’s the best place to be. Suddenly I’m radioed on the walkie. There’s an emergency (everything is always an emergency on set). A crew member was accidentally left behind. Mission: Go back to LA and retrieve missing crew member. Yes, LA’s morning rush hour traffic.

10 am. I arrive back on set with the missing crew member and a new appreciation for LA’s morning rush hour traffic. A few things are unloaded from the trucks but everyone seems to be hanging around. Coffee and cigarettes. Must be a long breakfast. Then we see it: a 7 series jet black BMW makes its way down the dirt road. The director has arrived. At once everyone is up and set in to action. The crew spreads out: lights go up, grips are laying the cable, cameras are checked, the set is receiving its final touches, and the director’s chair stands. I’m radioed in: “Grips need an extra hand!” Who the heck are grips? “The art department is missing flour! Get flour!!” We’re in the middle of nowhere, where am I supposed to get flour? “Make sure the director has bottled sparkling water… lightly chilled!” But we only have flat water.

12:00 pm. Time for lunch. Finally, time to breathe. But wait. Talent has just arrived and talent has brought a girlfriend… who has a flight to catch out of LAX to Tokyo… in one hour. Then why bring her to set! Mission 2: Take talent’s girlfriend as fast as you can to the airport while making a quick stop by her apartment to grab her forgotten luggage. Yes, LA traffic, where rush hour never really ends.

3 pm. I arrive back on location around “Where have you been?!” Oh I don’t know. Driving model slash actress around for the past few hours. By the way, when do I get to assist in production? I walk over to the set. Wow. It’s happening. They’re in the middle of shooting. The set is beautiful. It really does look like a house. How did they put that up in a day? Everything appears to be going well except for the cat they had to pull because it refused to take direction. Crazy cat. The production coordinator motions me over and whispers in my ear, “Would you like to see how the magic happens?” She then leads me to stand right behind the director. Peering over his shoulder I watch as the tape is rolling and a commercial is made. It’s a good day.

4 pm. Another coffee break. A couple more hours of shooting where I run between set, the art department, the production trailer, juggling bottled water, wondering if this is all a hazing ritual or a potential dream come true. As the sun sets, the set comes down. That’s a wrap. I’m radioed in. Time to start loading up the trucks. No response. I’m radioed again. Heaven forbid I’m given a moment’s peace to answer nature’s call cramped in a Porto potty on the next hill over. “What’s your status?” Uh, well, I’m counting the squares of toilet paper before I form it into origami. So I act as any first time P.A. would, I respond: “Going to the bathroom.” The walkie responds: “What? Didn’t catch that?” Bowing my head in surrender, now yelling: “In the bathroom!” And silence. Nothing too embarrassing. Just exchanging potty duties from one woman to another. As I make my way back over the hill I am greeted by a standing ovation from the entire cast and crew. Little did I know, I had just announced my business on the general radio line.

10 pm. You’re on your way home from a long day’s work. Your body aches both physically and mentally. You sigh knowing that after only a few hours of sleep the adventure begins again. Then you smile at all the potential that lay ahead. With the array of people you met today each performing such diverse tasks all for one common goal, you realize that the possibilities are endless. You steer your own ship. You write your own play.

Midnight. As you drift off to sleep a warm blanket of peace envelops you for you know that tomorrow when you arise creation begins, life begins. As the sun rises…“LIGHTS!”, your eyes open…“CAMERA!”, you are the eyes in of any role you choose to play…“ACTION!”

There’s no business like show business. That’s an understatement. Working as a production assistant was a very insightful experience. I would advise anyone who is interested in pursuing a job in the film, television, or commercial industry to try a day in the life of a P.A. You truly are the ‘eyes in’ to all aspects of filmmaking. From getting your hands dirty with the grips, to flour in your hair from aiding the art department, to make-up and wardrobe, to learning the cameras, to the behind the scenes administrative work in the production trailer, to witnessing the magic eye of the director behind the camera, to watching the actors get in to character, all teams work together to create a magnificent modern work of art. Like the arms and legs of a giant squid who all function as one body spraying brilliant ink all over the screen for us to enjoy.

*A Production Assistant’s day rate typically ranges from 100 to 200 dollars depending on film or commercial, union or nonunion, etc.

To find a P.A. job one can cold call production companies directly or studio operators and ask to be directed to their production companies on the lot, or use any of the online resources such as: UTA joblist, imdb.com, filmstaff.com, monster.com, etc.

Final Guest Blog: Hilary Graham

So, where to begin? My trip to LA is coming to a close and I am totally exhausted by it all, but my mind is also racing from all that I’ve seen, done, and learned this week. First and foremost, I want to say that any of you who entered the Silver Screenwriting Contest this year and didn’t win—enter again next year. You WANT to win this prize. The cash is nice, sure, but the real prize has been this trip. Not only have Julie, Andrew, and Margaux set up tons fabulous meetings with producers and A-List screenwriters (Blake Snyder, Steve Faber, David Arata) they been amazing supporters of my script and my career in general. When I was complaining yesterday of how I don’t really have any writing community in NH that I can bounce ideas off of, Julie said to me in her nurturing way, “that’s what we’re here to do for you.” Clearly, The Script Department is more than just your average script consulting service. Sure, they’ll give you great notes, but they are devoted to shepherding writers in every aspect of this business. I now have a team of talented, insightful WRITERS behind me who actually have a stake in helping to pave the way for my success. I absolutely cannot underestimate the importance of that kind of thing. Talk about priceless. Thanks to them I am more than just a name of on cover page to a slew of working producers in this town. Shit, I had dinner with a friggin’ Academy Award nominated screenwriter last night (David Arata). Some of the relationships I made here this week (thanks to Julie and the gang) may just be the very thing that breaks my career.

Oh, and just one last point about how full-service they have been in crafting my Whirlwind Adventure in Hollywood. Leaving no stone unturned, they also made sure I was in all the hip LA places inhabited by a Successful Screenwriter so that for these few days I was actually living in that world. From drinks with Blake Snyder at Chateau Marmont, to lunch with the Script Department at fancy-shmancy dining room on the Paramount lot where we sat across from Tony Shalhoub. (By the way, I highly recommend the grilled scallop and peach salad.) Oh, and a special shout-out to Margaux who was kind enough to take me to the soundstage where they were shooting her episode of PRIVILEGED. So much fun to watch them rehearse!

Okay, dinner with David Arata. The man has a great energy—calm, thoughtful, sweet. He was humble and encouraging, and his take on this business couldn’t have been more different than Steve Faber’s. Two different successful writers – two different takes. So, what’s the lesson here? That there is no one set path to make your way in Hollywood. One thing David said that I found interesting was that, “there’s no place to rest.” Meaning that even at this stage in his career (which includes an Oscar nomination!) he doesn’t feel “safe,” or like the business is easy, or that he will always get work and not just fade away into yesterday’s news. When he said that fear drives the creative process, I don’t really think he meant it as a joke. Thinking about this notion, my first reaction is, holy frigging shit. But when I think more deeply about it, I don’t necessarily think this is a bad thing. I think as writers, we know first-hand that the thing that fuels our creativity isn’t necessarily all unicorns and daisies. Where does out drive to create come from? Where does ambition come from? I don’t really have the answers to those questions, but I think the fact that you’re always trying to make it in this town, the fact that it never stops, may sound crazy and absurd, but in a way, is really just like life.

Well, I guess that’s it for now. I am taking the red-eye home and have big plans to lie around in my PJs and watch cheesy TV for the next couple of days. Then on Monday, I hit the ground running. Again, my many thanks to Julie, Margaux, and Andrew at the Script Department for choosing me, and for arranging this amazing, unforgettable trip. When I sell my first spec for mid-six figures against high-six-figures, I promise to guest-blog again and share the good news.

–Hilary

Guest Blog: Hilary Graham

At 9:00pm on Wednesday, after a long day of meetings, I go downstairs from my lovely hotel room at The Farmer’s Daughter (another wonderful part of my Silver Screenwriting prize!) to meet Julie and Steve Faber at Tart for drinks. I’m completely exhausted, but I’m very excited to meet Steve because (among other things) he wrote THE WEDDING CRASHERS, which I adore. This will be my first meeting with the big time screenwriter and I’m curious to hear the perspective of someone who is actually living the dream. Not to mention the fact that he personally knows Owen Wilson. Plus, the whole thing is really a “bonus prize” and Steve’s agreeing to meet me because he’s a good friend of Julie’s. So we’re scheduled for drinks, which is very cool, but it gets better. Steve’s actually read my script, FREEBIRD, and get this—he likes it! He even goes so far as to use the word “talented.” Of course, he has some notes, but I’m quickly getting the feeling that this is good. I was talking yesterday about the value of Fairy Godmothers and I think I now need to amend that to Fairy Godpeople.

Well, when Steve, Julie, and I sit down I’m pretty beat—still a little bit on east coast time, spent from chatting and the energy drain of having to be totally charming all day long. But about 60 seconds into our meeting, it’s like someone’s put the paddles to my chest, and I’m pretty sure I hear a voice yelling “Clear!” But when I look across the table it’s just Steve Faber talking and smoking cigars. Remember that old E.F. Hutton commercial? “When E.F. Hutton talks—people listen.” That’s how I feel in Steve’s presence. I’m pretty sure I was slack-jawed and wide-eyed for the better portion of our meeting. Here is a man who really knows how to succeed in this town and he’s sharing his experience with me in the spirit of helping guide my career in the best possible direction. Amazing. And if that wasn’t generous enough, he keeps trying to share his appetizers with me. Before meeting Steve, Julie had told me that he was incredibly supportive of new talent. Now I am feeling the effects of that advocacy. This isn’t the kind of thing you can glean from a book, and I can only hope I adequately expressed my gratitude to Julie for hooking me up with Steve, and to Steve, for sharing his time and wisdom with me.

Steve Faber is a living manifestation of Life in Hollywood: The Successful Screenwriter who has literally seen it all. Aside from being an incredibly talented writer, he is a straight shooter and a tour de force. Smart, funny, deep, real, and a natural born storyteller. You know that scene in THE WIZARD OF OZ where Dorothy discovers the man behind the curtain? That’s how I felt last night as Steve told me story after story about his experience as a Hollywood screenwriter. As Steve talks I feel like I’m walking deeper and deeper into the belly of the beast and that the map I’ve been relying on to navigate this town is some completely useless scam sold only to tourists.

Though I am completely overwhelmed with this sudden overload, (not to mention the fact that Steve repeatedly reiterates that I MUST move out here if I want to make it happen) I can’t help thinking what a gift this night has been. What a gift this trip has been. Of course, I say that from a place of gut-wrenching neurotic questioning. I have run myself ragged over the last three days, driving all over this crazy city, workin’ it the best I know how, and now I can’t go to sleep without first downloading my thoughts. It’s 3:00am in NH so my husband is definitely asleep but my mind is reeling. How am I branding myself as a writer? Do I move to L.A.? Should I listen to the advice of others in terms of which of my ideas are “saleable” or do I just ignore everyone and trust my gut? I feel like I already know the answers to these questions but I need to churn for a while until I can accept the truth. I have five meetings tomorrow so I better get some sleep. I can’t wait to meet David Arata (CHILDREN OF MEN) at the end of my day. I’ll report back with more Tales from Hollywood tomorrow, unless my brain should happen to explode first….

Guest Blog: Hilary Graham

Hello, Rouge Wavers, this your guest blogger, Hilary Graham. My script FREEBIRD was the Grand Prize Winner of the Silver Screenwriting Contest, so Julie suggested I share a bit about my experience while I’m here in LA enjoying the many fruits of my wonderful prize package. It’s nearly midnight and I just returned from the Château Marmont where Julie & I had drinks with screenwriter and author, Blake Snyder. If I were back home in NH, I’d probably be asleep by now (you gotta wake up early to slop the hogs, you know). But since I’m here in Los Angeles I’m wearing lipstick and using the phrase “four-quadrant picture” and hanging out at “The Chateau” across from Rosario Dawson and next to a man who has actually sold multiple scripts for seven figures.

Blake Snyder is a great guy and truly a guru in the best of the word. He’s like a screenwriting Yoda. (Tomorrow I will try to telekinetically lift a Studio Executive using the force.) If you haven’t read Blake’s Save the Cat! book series, I highly recommend you check it out. I’ve read many screenwriting books, and I have to say that Blake’s Save the Cat! is by far the most down-to-earth straightforward analysis of how a screenplay works, written in a concise, personal, easy-to-read style. I’ve found it particularly helpful to turn to it when I’m trying to work out the beats of a script. In any case, it was great to be able to meet Blake in person glean some of his wisdom in between sips of my yummy vodka drink in a setting I’d only read about in People Magazine. Blake is clearly a very generous man, not only of his time (and I honestly don’t know how he fit in meeting with me with the gazillion other projects he’s working on) but also with his insights. One of the nicest things about our meeting was getting to be amongst people who all truly love doing what they’re doing, even though each of us is at different stage in our journey. I think in this business, where it’s easy for people to grow bitter, I always find it heartening to meet people who are not only happy because of their own accomplishments, but also seek to encourage others’ success.

Speaking of which, Julie has been like a Fairy Godmother to me, nurturing and supportive of my script, and working hard to help advance my career by setting up meetings with writers and production companies. (More details to follow as I have these meetings over the next few days.) Anyway, I’m tremendously grateful for her advocacy, and I urge all of you other aspiring screenwriters go out and get yourself a cheerleader.

Anyway, my first 48 hours in LA have been a whirlwind, (my manager has also set up a full schedule of meetings for me so it’s go, go, go) and my week is just beginning…. Thinking about it is too exhausting, so instead, I’ll just try to remember to breathe, to be brief, to learn something from every meeting, to forgive myself when I don’t make a perfect pitch, and to have fun. I was sitting in the waiting room at Paramount today listening to some middle-aged guy in a suit talk on his cell phone and it occurred to me—we’re all here doing this cause we like telling stories. How cool is that?

The Mini-W Reviews: Burn After Reading

For those of you who are new to the Rouge Wave, and there are always newcomers, the Mini-W is my 15 year old daughter. She’s smart, she’s savvy and she loves movies. And once in awhile when her homework is done, she reviews movies here on the Rouge Wave. Enjoy:

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I was dragged to see Burn After Reading, starring Brad Pitt, Frances McDormand, Tilda Swinton, John Malkovich, and George Clooney with my dad and step mom and stepbrother. I was far from excited, but afterwards, I was SO glad they made me go. Although like most Coen Brothers productions, Burn After Reading was quite morbid, the extraordinary comedic performances by the entire cast held the sub-par plot together.

The movie starts out with John Malkovich as Osborn Cox, a washed up CIA operative being fired from his position. He then goes home to his coldhearted wife, Tilda Swinton, who is having an affair with George Clooney, a bodyguard and exercise obsessed womanizer. George Clooney links to Linda Litske (Frances McDormand), through Internet dating. Linda is an image obsessed gym worker who happens to find some files from Osborn Cox’s financial documents. Brad Pitt is a personal trainer at the gym where Linda works, and together they try and get money for the disk that they found, thinking it is CIA information.

In the end, many of the cast end up dying in rather violent and shocking ways, but the way they handle it just makes what would have been a mediocre script into a hilarious experience. Not only were the performances good, but also you could just tell that the actors had fun with this movie, and that fun jumps off the screen into you. DO NOT take the younguns to see this movie (I felt like covering my little step brother’s eyes half the time) but definitely take a couple hours to go out and see it. It will keep you laughing for a long time afterwards.

Spotlight on Derek Rydall

Wavers know that The Wave-inatrix is a fan of the book There’s No Business Like Soul Business, by Derek Rydall. Yesterday I got inspired, picked up the phone and called him. Derek was nice enough to have a great conversation with me and here is some of what he had to say:

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First things first – your head shot on your website is great. Are you single?

Not at the present moment. In fact, not for the last 15 years. But, hey, you never know.

What inspired you to write There’s No Business Like Soul Business? Great title, by the way.

Lots of pain and suffering, plenty of producers who didn’t see my genius, and a good dose of heartbreaking, gut-wrenching failure and disappointment. In other words, a day in the life of the ‘biz’.

Then I had a sort of near-death experience, decided to become a monk, then a minister, then told my girlfriend I had to be celebate. Yeah, that went over real well (Lasted, oh, about a day or so). And finally I realized that I was supposed to bring this new awareness to the ‘biz’. That led to a group of a couple dozen other miserable artists and entertainment professionals looking for a way to sell themselves without selling their souls…and eventually the book.

You travel literally all over the world doing workshops based on your book. I know you are also researching two projects; can you tell us a little about them or is it all top secret?

One is an untitled project about a bunch of college-age pilots flying in the jungles during the 80′s. And the other is about Mona Lisa and DaVinci.

Did you like the movie Top Secret?

I actually loved it!

I understand you went through WGA arbitration recently, about a script at Universal. How long did the process take, what got you there and who won? Does the arbitration system work, in other words?

It took a couple months. It happened because there was a writer who did a story before I came on board, then a director came on after and brought someone in to rewrite it. I won and received sole credit…so I think the arbitration system works incredibly well!

You didn’t know this until now but recently I subscribed to your email-newsletter about how to get the most out of a script consultant and loved it. Being that I am a script consultant, I wanted to make sure I am delivering as much value as possible to my clientele. Can you give my readership the top five things to look for in a script consultant in a nutshell?

(1) Credibility. Check their references, past testimonials, samples, to see if they have a proven track record and are a fit for your sensibilities. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t work with a consultant who doesn’t yet have a long resume — there are many very talented people out there who haven’t yet proven themselves — but then their price should reflect that lack of experience and lower some of your risk for trying them out.

(2) Honesty. You don’t want someone who only pats you on the back, you want someone who will tell you the absolute truth, otherwise they’re not helping you create the best script possible. On the other hand, you want someone who is always constructive and supportive; someone who feels like they’re in your corner.

(3) Passion. You want a consultant who truly loves film and story, who’s passion and enthusiasm is infectious and inspiring. You also want someone who you feel is sincerely interested in your success — not just your check — and invested in helping you make your script as good as it can be.

(4) Service. You want a consultant who isn’t watching the clock or making you feel like you’re a burden. You want to feel like you can ask questions and get real answers and solutions, and you want to feel like there is some follow-up after you’ve received your notes and/or story meeting.

(5) Value. You want a consultant who offers real value for your hard-earned dollar. That can come in a lot of ways. If it’s coverage, you want more than just the standard 2-page studio-type coverage that doesn’t really give you any significant feedback. And with the bigger analysis packages, it’s always great to have the choice of a personal one-on-one story meeting to brainstorm over the notes. Also, look for consultants who offer other benefits — like more in-depth follow-up, faster turnaround, a money-back guarantee or a free sample analysis of the first page or so of your script, etc.

As I’m sure you’re aware, there are aspiring screenwriters who feel that paying a consultant is a huge rip-off. What say you to that point of view?

I understand this feeling. Most of us have been bombarded with so much marketing and some not-so-ethical people trying to prey on unsuspecting artists and creative types. But the truth is, most consultants are good, honest people who have some knowledge to share and want to help. It’s up to the writer to do their due dilligence and make sure they’re making a good choice.

Also, it’s important for writers to realize what this craft really takes, and what other successful writers have done to get where they are. Many writers vet their scripts through multiple sources of feedback and multiple rewrites. If we want to achieve lasting success, we need to model some of these same practices.

If you look in other industries, you see successful pros using consultants all the time. Entrepreneurs have consultants go over their business plans before pitching a new multi-million dollar enterprise. Architects have other professionals go over their blueprints before trying to get a multi-million dollar building built. Well, what is a script but a ‘blueprint’ or a ‘business plan’ for a multi-million dollar venture called a movie.

So it seems we have a mutual acquaintance with Marc Zicree! Is he the nicest guy ever or what?

Absolutely. What a cool guy!

It’s sometimes very tough to stay encouraged in this business we call show. What do you advise aspiring writers to hang onto or think about when they are feeling down about it?

Just as the oak tree is already in the acorn in potential, there is a mighty being inside each of us waiting to emerge. And, like the acorn, we already possess everything we need to achieve our greatness…but the conditions must be cultivated for us to grow. These are primarily ‘inner conditions’ such as a connection to our ‘source’, grattitude, passion, peace, generosity, and a vision that is bigger than our personal life.

There is no quick fix, per se, although sometimes just taking our attention off ourselves and trying to help someone else can do wonders. There are many other things we can do to cultivate a sense of faith and empowerment regardless of outer conditions, but this is a good start (you can check out the book, “There’s No Business Like Soul Business” for more).

Are there some writers who should quit trying? How can they tell if enough is enough and nothing is moving forward and so this may not be the path for them?

That’s a tough question, and one many of us grapple with from time to time. The only thing I can really say is that if it’s something you truly want, then you should never quit. You can’t determine whether or not you’ll move forward based on how you ‘feel’. That’s a big mistake. It’s called ‘emotional reasoning’.

Feelings don’t necessarily tell us the truth, they just tell us what we ‘believe’ or ‘think’ about something. We need to examine our beliefs more deeply to see if they’re true or not. Often, our struggles are calling us to grow in ways that will make us the people and the creators that we need to become in order to fulfill our higher purpose. Look at all the examples of people who had everything against them, who were rejected over and over, for years, but didn’t give up. Thomas Edison failed at creating the lightbulb like 10,000 times. Where would we be if he gave up after the 100th failure…or the 5,000th failure? We’d be in the dark and we wouldn’t have movies! How many of us are willing to fail 10,000 times?

Okay I know this is a really annoying question but what are your top 3 favorite movies of all time?

That IS a really annoying question. Mostly because I have so many movies I love. A few that come to mind…the original Star Wars, Groundhog Day, Bruce Almighty, Little Miss Sunshine, The Matrix, and about a 1000 more, including a lot of older ones.

Do you read in bed? What are you reading right now?

You sounded so sexy when you asked that. Yes, I read in bed. I’m not reading anything right now, I’m doing this interview. Oh, you mean in general? About 12 books, on politics, spirituality, world service, psychology, etc.

If we were to host a Rouge Wave dinner here in LA, to talk about staying encouraged and inspired would you come if I buy dinner?

Oh, yeah.

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Well, whaddya say to that, Wavers? How about Sunday, September 28th at the Kung Pao Bistro in West Hollywood. A get-together for writers feeling down in the mouth and who’d like some inspiration and encouragement. Contact me HERE if you’d like to attend. Admission is the cost of dinner and a willingness to participate in a conversation about how we can stay motivated and encouraged in a very tough business. That Derek will be joining us is pretty huge; he travels the world speaking and he’s doing this just because he’s a cool guy.

To learn more about Derek Rydall, his books and services, click HERE.