Just Effing Entertain Me

Writing is Rewriting

Forgive my absence today, Wavers. My writing partner and I are deep into a rewrite of a script set to go out to buyers after Sundance. We’re having a lot of fun with it but it is time consuming.

The story of this psychological thriller is a long one. I came up with the idea probably five years ago, based on a newspaper article I read about a local man waiting for a heart donor. I was writing comedies at the time so I just wrote down one or two sentences about the idea and shelved it. I was just about to graduate from the two year program at The Writer’s Boot Camp when one evening I mentioned the idea to some of my writer friends. They were completely excited about the idea. So I outlined it and then got in touch with the talented writer who is now my partner. He had written a number of psychological thriller novels and I knew he’d bring so much to the table. We wrote the script in just a few weeks and felt we had a strong draft. It didn’t take us long to get a manager and we were off to the races. The script went out wide and we had a interest from some major players. One of which was a producer at Fox. We decided to work with that producer and we went into development, i.e., several weeks and months of rewrite after rewrite after rewrite. The script improved with every pass but over time, the producer got more interested in another, “hotter” script and we got bumped. So much for that. Months of our time. Down the drain. We were disappointed and yet we did have a better script for the experience. Except now the script had nowhere to go: too many eyes had already seen it. Into a drawer it went. For almost two years.

Until about a month ago when a friend of mine passed it to a producer known for hating every script he reads. Sort of a useless favor, I thought. Except – he liked it. And the rewrites were on – again. Tweak it this way – tweak it that way. No, no – too far. Bring it back. It’s like trying to steer a ship into a dock. A very big, slow moving ship. Again, the script has benefitted but I kid you not, this is easily the 35th draft of the script since its inception almost five years ago.

It has been written and rewritten and rewritten again and reinvented and tweaked to make it scarier and more R-rated and less scary and more PG-13. But the bones of the story have always remained. It has been a lesson in taking notes and a lesson in executing those notes to the best of our understanding. There have been notes that we didn’t agree with and that we stood our ground on. There have been notes that we hit ourselves on the head over because it hadn’t occurred to us.

And now – we’re back at it again. We did a draft about two weeks ago. Big changes. But not quite what the producer wanted. We made things too pointed in the first act. Then we did another draft, softening the first act and making the first act break BIGGER. We took our set pieces and added more “stuff.” We tweaked the character arc of the protagonist. Which had a trickle down effect and forced changes in almost every scene of the script.

We’ve made changes with a chainsaw – losing entire scenes wholesale. We’ve made changes with a scalpel, tweaking single lines of dialogue toward a connotative meaning. We’ve used a sledgehammer on some of our set pieces – and a laser on others. Some drafts have clearly been better than others – other drafts have been six of one and a half dozen of another – it just depends on subjective tastes.

You can go crazy rewriting a script this many times. Seriously. It’s tempting to get sloppy and lose sight of the fundamental DNA of the script that you originally envisioned. It has been an intense lesson in listening to, interpreting and enacting notes.

We’ve had to reconsider entire sequences and replace them with new material. We’ve had to repurpose sequences, moments and even single lines of dialogue. When you have this many drafts on file, you have almost a library of scenes and sequences to repurpose. The producer we’re working with now has impeccable taste and I think (or hope) that the script is now in better shape than it ever has been to possibly – maybe – hopefully – get sold. The producer is a well respected heavy hitter and so it’s going out to the big boys. We don’t currently have rep but have already had a couple of offers. Know what? I don’t feel like giving anyone a percentage of a sale, should we be so lucky. We’ve done all the heavy lifting and we have a good lawyer.

You know what has made this experience a good one for us and for those we have worked with? A willingness to bury our darlings, a sharp ear when interpreting notes and a resulting toolbox full of laser beams, chainsaws, sledgehammers and scalpels. But possibly most importantly, we have maintained a love of the fundamental story we wanted to tell. Even after all these drafts. We’ll see what happens after Sundance. Maybe we’ll finally make that homerun. Maybe not. But I’ll tell you one thing – we’re better writers for this experience. We’ve proven to be writers who are good to work with. We listen to notes carefully and we deliver drafts quickly. We’re good in a room and we are totally focused on one thing and one thing only – writing a draft that is the best iteration of the story we wanted to tell.

Are you willing to take notes – over and over and over again on your script? To hack away scenes or sequences that you were really fond of? To totally reinvent, reimagine and repurpose them? To be totally flexible and yet totally focused on the essence of your story? And then to not even be sure that you’ll ever earn a dime for any of it? It’s a tall order.

Upon occasion I work with writers who are loathe to take notes, make changes or totally reimagine a scene, act or even a premise. To which I generally observe – silly preciousness will get you nowhere. Get limber, my friends. Get real limber. Do your writing yoga every day. Be willing to do anything to elevate your script to its highest creative potential.

You might as well. Writing IS rewriting.

Why the Classics Matter

Hello, Wavers, and happy inexplicably named “black Friday” – the day when shoppers rush in hordes to shopping malls for day-after-Thanksgiving-bargains. I read that a man was trampled by a crowd at a Walmart in Long Island. What must the aliens looking down upon us think…

I had a great meeting the other day, as I mentioned, and my writing partner and I are doing a quick rewrite of a thriller so we can get it out on the market as soon as possible. So mama is busy and a bit overwhelmed which is why I am cutting and pasting my reply on the Rouge Wave II, about a question regarding whether watching the classics helps a writer’s skill set. Short answer: It doesn’t. If you haven’t joined the RWII, I urge you to, since it is a fun and informative forum where you can have more and more detailed conversations between yourselves, without silly old me having to approve each comment.

*****

…”I’m just curious what you think the classics adds to the writing skills?”

Seeing the classics doesn’t add to your writing skills. It adds to your breadth of knowledge about the medium itself. The history, trends and politics of film. The careers of iconic stars and directors. If you haven’t seen Psycho, then you haven’t seen what was at that time a seminal thriller.

Everything is ultimately repeated; you need to know what has come before you so that you don’t unwittingly write something derivative. Conversely, if you’ve seen the classics you are able to write something that is in part an homage to another film, borrowing from and updating the thematic or dramatic gist of it.

Seeing the classics and being articulate about them has other advantages: When you take meetings with people in the industry, you’ll quickly find that they HAVE seen the classics, and an inability to reference these cultural touchstones within this specific industry will be a handicap on many levels, the most obvious of which is that you will come off as a dilettante with only a surface interest in film.

In meetings, other films, past and present, usually come up in conversation. Do you want to come off as a person who just doesn’t care and who hasn’t bothered to do your homework? Or do you want to come off as a person with a knowledge, respect and love of the medium? The answer is obvious.

And lastly, the classics offer GREAT performances, GREAT stories and GREAT entertainment. There’s so much more at the video store than the new releases.

The Field of Dreams

It’s so fun when you are working on your script and you think – this would be PERFECT for Diane Lane and Owen Wilson or Laura Linney and Ryan Gosling. An actor with the right look, an actor who seems to relish this type of role and whose work you have enjoyed in the past. I actually find it quite helpful to write your characters with an actor in mind; that way you can more clearly imagine their speech cadence, gestures and movements.

Yesterday I had lunch with a VP of production at a very cool feature film production company (and he’ll be doing a guest blog soon). And we talked nuts and bolts about production and specifically, a particular script. As we talked about packaging and casting of this material, we ran into that rock in the creek – well, that actor’s last two movies didn’t do so well. The studio wouldn’t like him/her in a package. Or – that actor already has another project like this one. That actor is good but not as bankable as X other actor. That actor is in rehab and we can’t get insurance.

A glimpse into the locker room and at the strategy board is daunting. And that’s just the actors – then there’s budget, attaching a bankable director and the whole, complex, difficult game of, as this VP put it, “running the ball down the field and getting it in the net.”

The distance between you writers out there writing a script, getting that script repped and then getting the movie made is vast. Getting the movie sold much less produced is not a genteel game of cricket – it’s rugby, Wavers. Down and dirty. Intense. Constantly shifting.

But, as my friend and colleague pointed out – “a good script is more imperative now than ever.”

So. Stuff to think about. You, the writer, are the center – you hike the ball to the quarterback, the agent. And the production company executive is the running back who is going to try to get the ball down the field and over the goal posts. Okay I know I’m now mixing up about twelve sports up here, but you get it. The script is the ball. The ball must get over the goal post or into the net.

Nobody is going to get all beat up and bruised in this wild game of running down the field to get the movie made unless you have written a great script. Why would they? Everybody wants to make money and to enhance their careers but it all comes down to your script. Without the pigskin, we all go home and there’s no game.

You will be a happier, more successful and informed writer if you understand the strategy of the game. It starts and ends with the script but there’s a whole lot of people and agendas and politics between the script being written and a movie being made. Take it upon yourself to learn everything you can about how the game is played.

Should You Rush a GREAT Idea?

I was having dinner the other night with three talented writers who are all close friends of mine when one of them, two margaritas in, reminded me of a script idea that he’d partially worked out a couple of years ago but set aside in favor of a newer project. As he described the logline, we all went nuts – it is BRILLIANT. It is high concept, it is zeitgeisty as hell and it is completely original – for now. Unanimously, we urged this writer to drop everything and complete this script as quickly as possible. Because somebody else is definitely going to come up with this idea. In fact, in the two years between writing a rough draft of the script and having moved on, my friend did find out that there is a comic book coming out with the same basic idea. Normally, I am not one to be super secretive about loglines but this is one of those loglines that you DO NOT tell many people because it is just so fantastic.

How do you know if you have a money idea? Well, that’s one of those things that is helped quite a lot by living in LA and being around a lot of industry people so you can research whether it’s been done before or worse – is being done right now.

But you don’t necessarily have to live in LA for that advice. It’s not so hard to find out if the idea has been done before. You can do an IMDB keyword search and go to a trusted industry connection and ask them to help you out. Is this idea floating around Hollywood right now? That’s harder to find out. That’s the kind of thing I turn to my colleagues for, since I know so many people who are preternaturally plugged in to what’s going on in Hollywood.This is when having paid it forward will be enormously helpful. I have so many people (and you know who you are) who were former clients, became friends and do me little favors all the time. And I return those favors whenever I can. And the same is true for me – I have paid it forward and I have many colleagues that I turn to as well. On my own behalf and on yours.

I know a writer who had what felt like a GREAT idea for an episode of an existing show and was so excited – until he talked to someone who just happened to have seen literally every episode and…yep, it had been done. What a buzz kill that was. Better to find out in advance than shop around a spec with something that has already been done and look foolish.

Say you have an idea like my friend does. Fresh, totally original and yet totally obvious, thematically familiar and yet fundamentally different. Is it a rush or a race? Unfortunately, yes. A very strange thing happens with writers – and it doesn’t matter where you live – but we seem to share the same thinking. It is a common occurrence that script ideas come in clusters. Without going all metaphysical on your behinds, I have no explanation for this. Ideas swim around in the ether and writers are always looking for them. We are all exposed to the same media and group-think and national and international zeitgeist so it’s like being in a petrie dish; sooner or later connections will be made from one news item to another and new ideas will begin to form from single cells to wriggling flagellum.

So your totally brilliant, one-of-a-kind idea is, in all likelihood, not so original. So now the race is on. Who is going to not only get their wonderful idea DONE first, but who is going to execute it the best? You cannot sacrifice speed for quality if you are an unproven writer. Yes, established writers – known quantities – can sell the idea alone. Or the treatment. But new, unproven writers really can’t. Because the idea might be great, but why should someone trust you, a new writer, to execute that on the page in a way that services this great idea beautifully, when they can either steal your idea and get it to a writer they KNOW is great, or wait for that to occur naturally. Because it will. And yes, idea theft does happen.

If you are a semi-experienced screenwriter, meaning you’ve written at least four or five scripts and done well in a competition or any other venue, you should be able to outline and write a first draft of your brilliant idea within six weeks. Or less. I know, that sounds insane, but so often we writers actually drag out the process much more than we need to. If you are that excited about your brilliant idea, you better burn the midnight oil and get it done. I give that about six weeks because after that you’re going to need another two weeks to get notes and rewrite the draft. And maybe even another set and another rewrite. If you turn in a slipshod, rushed draft, this golden idea just turned into brass. Game over for you.

I generally like to practice what I preach – be present, enjoy the process, write for the joy of it. But once in awhile, when I hear an idea as good as the one I am referring to, then I preach Getting Thy Ass in Motion. Now. Because if you don’t – someone else will. It happens all the time. Enlist your friends – get notes and guidance. You have one shot and you don’t have much time. So do it right.

What if you knock yourself out to get a draft out there of an idea and then you read in the trades that another script is making the rounds with the same idea? Well, if the other draft out there is by a novice screenwriter, and you have rep, there’s still some chance you’ll be able to get your draft out there was well. All may not be lost. But – it’s not a great situation. If the other draft floating around is by an experienced writer, it’s time to go put your fist through a wall because it’s all over for the shouting.

A couple of years ago, my former writing partner and I had a GREAT idea to adapt a cheesy 70s book (and television movie) into a feature film. It was a slam-dunk. Until we found out, very early on in our conversations that Scott Rudin has already set it up at Paramount. What a huge let down that was. But there you go. Glad we didn’t waste our time, tell ya that.

So you have an amazing idea. The first thing you need to ascertain is if it really is that amazing. Then you need to make sure it truly has not been done before. Then you need to find out if it’s floating around Hollywood right now. Then you need to buy three cases of Red Bull and outline and outline and outline and get ON writing the draft.

That is all. Now get back to work.

Tools of the Trade

The other day we talked about the fact that as a writer, you ARE a business. You need to promote your business, fine-tune it and understand the market for what you’re selling. You also need to make sure that you have all the niceties figured out as well. The little things. Like leaving a message that is intelligible. Or having a business card that is not lame.*

So here is a check list that may be helpful:

Thank You Notes
Real, paper thank you notes, folks, not thank you emails. Not goofy thank you notes with balloons and dogs on them but simple, classy notes. Get them. And use them. Send them to people you meet at pitch fests, at general screenwriting events, to people like me or one of my colleagues if we help you with something. This is a business based on relationships. Never forget that for one minute. And a real thank you note will be very memorable to the recipient.

A Normal Email Address
Is your email something like writerfoshizzle4556@complicatedcompany.com? Change it. Have a business email address that is simple, easy to spell, easy to type and memorable. I cannot tell you the weird email addresses I see. Choose something very simple and easy so that it’s easier to write down, say over the phone or whatever. Be professional. *

*if this post inspires anyone on my newsletter emailing list to change their email address, please email my assistant, Chaia with your new email address.

A Number Where You Can Be Reached
Does your four year-old answer your phone there at home? Then use a different number. If you have a cell phone that is exclusively yours, put that number on your contact information. Make sure it has a professional sounding message on it, not music or anything else. Speak clearly. Check your messages frequently.

Always Put Your Contact Information on the Title Page of Your Script
ALWAYS, people. Every. Single. Time. I know for most of you this is a no-brainer. I can’t tell you how often I get scripts submitted to The Script Department sans contact information. Very annoying. And it just could be the one, annoying thing that stops someone from phoning you up with good news.

Business Cards
We’ve gone over this in the past, but get some very simple business cards printed up with your name and contact information. Bring your cards to every event you attend. Have them at the ready.

Leaving Messages
If you leave a message for someone in the industry, please don’t rattle off your phone number so fast that the recipient of your message can’t write it down. Speak slowly. Your name, why you’re calling and your number. Here’s the cadence that works for me when I’m writing down a message: Hey Julie, this is John Roberts. We met at the (blank) event last week. I can be reached at area code 323 (pause) 555 (pause) 0264. Once again, this is John Roberts and I can be reached at 323 (pause) 555 (pause) 0264. As opposed to messages I receive quite frequently: Hey Julie this is (mumble mumble, sounds like Frank-n-smith-n-heimer) we met at the (mumble mumble screenwriting thing last year) and my number is 3235550264bye. HUH? If I have ever not called you back, that’s why. I couldn’t understand your message. Please make it easy for the person transcribing your message. Slow. Down.

Office Supplies
Please use normal brads. And get a good three-hole punch. Use good, reliable pens and write clearly on your letter/material. Put stamps on the normal way, not the I’m-in-a-special-class way. If you’re sending in a treatment that’s under 20 pages, staple the pages – never send loose pages. If your treatment is more than that – three hole punch it and use brads. TWO BRADS. Don’t use three brads and don’t use weird brads. Just normal, brass brads that aren’t too long or too flimsy. Go to The Writer’s Store online if you can’t find them in your area.

Software
I advocate the use of Final Draft, because it’s the most commonly used software and it’s easier to send files using it. But if you do use a different program, save your script as a PDF and be prepared to send your script in that format. If you don’t know what PDF stands for, brush up on your knowledge of software. I’m no tech genius but these are the basic tools of sending your script electronically which is done more and more these days. Do not type or send your scripts in Word or a similar word-processing software. It makes you look like an amateur and is almost impossible to format on the other end. If you want to be a career screenwriter, make a small investment in your software and your knowledge of it.

Your Equipment
How’s your computer working out for you these days? Are you backing up your files? (See my cautionary tale of just yesterday). Do you have the latest update of your writing software, internet browser and email program? Do you have a fax machine, copier and scanner? Are you prepared to jot off a release form promptly, when asked? Making an investment in your equipment is key. And for you absolute geniuses who type on a 1957 Olivetti in your attic and eschew all of this stuff, good luck to you. I’m sure you’re brilliant.

The Interwebs
That’s what snarky people call the internet when referring to yokels who don’t know who to use it. Snarky people like me. Well, maybe we’re shooting for irony. But I digress. The internet. Figure. It out. Click on new sites and blogs relative to screenwriting. Surf that stuff. Visit the websites of screenwriting services and software companies. Be aware of the resources available to you so you can stop emailing me asking for every script ever produced. Oh, uh, sorry – little personal side story there. The world is at your fingertips. When you call or otherwise contact a professional or organization, be it me, be it Final Draft or Creative Screenwriting or millions more, please have done your homework. Read the website first. Click around some. Inform yourself. Because it’s really annoying when people email with lazy questions, the answer to which is already on the site.

In the Entertainment Industry there are so many odd, clashing interests and subtle mores that sometimes seem to conflict and contradict. But at the end of the day, everybody is looking for content. EVERYBODY wants it, okay? I cannot stress that enough. And you got it. But at the same time, everybody is looking for one, easy reason to dismiss you and move on to the next writer and the next script. An annoying, complicated email address, mumbled messages, sloppy looking scripts, three brads, bad breath and dandruff – you name it. Content is King but it also arrives in Hollywood late at night, in packed to the gills rail cards. Hundreds of scripts, thousands of scripts, chug into Hollywood on a daily basis. So there’s no shortage of material. It’s about sifting through it to find the gems.

Hollywood is a giant mining operation. Every day – BWOOOOOP – the horn blows, everybody puts on their mining hats and descends into the mining shaft with picks. Do you want your script chucked into the dirt pile because your contact information wasn’t on it? Or because it was sent in a Word file and is 228 pages long? Or because you left a message that was unintelligible? Of course not. So go over this checklist and see what you’ve got and how prepared you are. Remember, they don’t call it showfriends. Hollywood is unlike any other business in the world and yet at the same time (I told you there are contradictions) it’s exactly like all other businesses. Be prepared, be polite and be professional. Have the latest software and a working knowledge of the internet. Because if you don’t – someone else does. And their script will be on the top of the pile. No, you aren’t such a genius that thank you notes, pithy email addresses or non-crack-pipe messages don’t apply to you.

*lame business cards include: photo-shop images of balloons, ice cream, monsters, your original artwork, pull-quotes from your script or favorite movie, a headshot of you, (unless you’re an actor), bright colors, rainbows, pictures of your pets or kids, etc. All real examples, by the way.

Watch and Learn

Hello, Wavers and happy Sunday. Or Monday as the case may be. I like to think that as much as I am an inspiration, I am also a cautionary tale. Because over the weekend something totally unexpected happened. My computer died. It began making a very funny noise and moments later, the screen grayed out but for a file folder with a question mark on it. Which went on blinking and mocking me until I practically wept. Goodness – what to do? Well, I happen to have one of the most gifted computer guys in the world, Greg Madore, and he raced over to my home and fixed it inside of an hour.

Good news, right? Yeah, not so much. Because I hadn’t backed up my system since July 28th. I lost 3 months worth of data because I neglected to back up my computer on a weekly basis. This is going to be like having a hang nail; every day at some point, I’ll search for a document and not be able to find it. Good times!

Everybody knows you should back up your computer. It’s just common sense. I often go outside during the day to walk my tiny canine and I always double-check with myself as to whether to lock the door behind me. I’m just walking a block or two, right? And I always say to myself, well, lock it depending on how you feel about losing everything inside. Uh, okay. Lock. Just takes a second. Like buckling your seat belt, flossing, setting the alarm, changing the batteries in the smoke alarm. And backing up your computer.

So learn from me Wavers. How would you like to lose all the changes you made on your script for the past month? How would you like to lose the script you wrote last year? You cannot get stuff like that back. If you aren’t backing up your computer, start doing it and start doing it NOW. Once a week or more often if you are very busy on your computer. Guess who will be an absolute obsessive about backing up now? Yeah. Me. Your own personal cautionary tale.

A Day in My Life

Ah….Halloween. Day of masks and ruses. And candy. The day before the day before the carved pumpkin starts to collapse and smell weird. Five days before a historic election and two days before the time change. It’s a time to reflect and to ….okay I think I’ve pretty much milked that dry.

So I spent yesterday finishing reading and covering a FANTASTIC novel for Seed Productions. The main character was unforgettable as he introduces himself as a thinking man, entrepreneur and murderer. I think I signed some kind of non-disclosure something or other a couple of years back when I started reading for them so I’m not supposed to talk about what properties they are looking at. But geez, it was amazing. The trick with covering a novel is that one has to then indicate, in the notes, whether this property might make a good movie. Difficult thing to assess, since the narrative in a novel is significantly more complex than a script, and buried deep and twisted around so much internal character stuff. So one has to pluck that narrative out like the thread of a sweater and ask if that narrative is: adaptable, original, interesting and accessible to a wide audience, castable and of course, one must muse upon the expense of the whole thing. I gave this one a big thumb’s up but did note that it would be expensive due to exotic locations and this falls under the category of Important Movie (aka Oscar bait) rather than a Friday night blockbuster, necessarily. I hope Seed pursues the property and that if they don’t, someone else does, because I’d go see this movie in a red hot Hollywood minute.

I also cleaned my desk yesterday – I actually work at a funky dining table which sits next to two huge, old fashioned windows (in my very old place). I found, at the bottom of the stacks, no less than six scripts from casual acquaintances (to be defined as: neighbors, people I meet at events, etc.). These are scripts that they want me to peruse quickly. No such thing as perusing quickly. I did eliminate about three very quickly by doing the read-3-pages-while-standing-up-with-coffee test. I hate when I say yes I will give a script a quick look when in fact I always have so much else to do. I wind up feeling guilty and the scripts gather dust. My paying clientele has to come first. At the end of a long day of reading other stuff and administrating my business (which in fact is really three businesses) the last thing I’m in the mood for is – another script. And really nice dude I met at the Fade In Pitch Fest – you know who you are – you had a great pitch and I said I’d look at the script and it passed the read-3-pages-while-standing-up-with-coffee test and I know I said oh no biggie when you mentioned your script wasn’t bound – but it is a big, fat bummer – if you bring scripts to events, three-hole punch and put brads in it!!

I also deal with business stuff on a daily basis. Answering approximately oh, these days even with my assistant running interference, 20 to 25 emails a day. Sending my bio here and there, figuring out where The Script Department booth will be located at the CS Expo and how many volunteers will be a the booth when and getting all the materials ready for that. Putting together class descriptions for an event in June 09. Fielding requests to announce or publish stuff on the Rouge Wave. Following up on scripts I am getting read on behalf of my clients at agents and managers. Dealing with the various bank accounts associated with my business(es). Making calls about ad buys past and present. And about 9,000 other things which are too specific to be of even mild interest. But you don’t care about that stuff. It just keeps me quite busy is all I’m sayin’.

Which is why my favorite thing to do is to sit down with a script and a cup of coffee and a pen and just read quietly. I’m not really making decisions or judgments in that moment; I just read and let the pages fly by and absorb what I’m reading. I stop and make small notes but I think it’s best for the story if it just flows like a river while being read. I make the judgments and comments later, when I’m done and I shift into note-giving mode. I really feel it’s a luxury to sit and read scripts versus juggle the other, more odious things I mentioned above. And thankfully, these days I don’t have to read three scripts a day so I am relaxed when I read now and give each script my all. When I used to do only production company reading I got into Reader Mode which is go, go, go, go and one gets jaded, burned out and exhausted. As I have said on the Rouge Wave many a time – this is who is reading your scripts if you don’t have me read it first, so just know that. No use beating that horse again, you all know how I feel about the wisdom of getting notes before you throw your script into the lion filled colosseum of bored, tired, cranky-ass readers.

And then there’s my personal life. (Insert long, uncomfortable moment of realization here).

The lines between my business and my personal lives are so blurred they are almost indistinguishable. My friends are my colleagues. Dinner, drinks and get-togethers always turn to scripts, the business, this or that agent or manager. I stay up very, very late at night since that’s when I can catch up on emails and make decisions about things in a more thoughtful way. Those of you who may have gotten an email time-stamped at 2am know this about me. I also don’t ever schedule anything – NOTHING – before 10am because I’m not really, truly awake until then. On those rare, awful occasions when I do have to be somewhere before 10am you’ll notice I am quite pallid and inarticulate.

I can’t figure out why my TiVo isn’t recording all of the shows it’s supposed to. I’m excited to vote this Tuesday. I left the fridge open again last night and the porch light is too high for me to fix myself. There’s laundry in the dryer and six scripts staring at me and three important phone calls I have to make today. It’s Halloween and I’m dressed as me – thinker, writer, entrepreneur, decider, mother of two and mother to many, a lover of movies and a lover of writing. Happy Halloween.

Understanding the Business of Hollywood

Business. The very word send shivers down the spines of most creatives. Ew. That’s why we write. Right? Most writers fancy ourselves artists for whom the mundane aspects of business management is a conscious choice we made to avoid. We can’t bother ourselves with the details of the entertainment business, our taxes or god forbid the stock market! Nooooo we’re too busy being dreamers, schemers, liars and thieves.

But guess what? You ARE a business. You are Joe Writer, Inc. And if you would like to pursue success, shoot it with a poison dart, drop it in a puddle of mud and skin and eat it, you need to do a whole more than study the craft of screenwriting, rent movies and watch Entertainment Tonight.

Are you keeping careful records of your writing expenses? Your software, books and classes? Are you reading the trades and following the box office returns? What about the spec market relative to new media and the general economy? Know anything about that? Well – I know it sounds odious, but you should. If you don’t become an autodidact and do it now, you will be woefully in the dark about the business of Hollywood. And as much as writing is a fairly solitary, internal act, selling your writing is not.

From a post in June 2007, I repeat my snazzy catchphrase for every writer’s daily activity:

WIPNILL

Write
Promote
Network
Learn
Live well

WPNLL©
*side effects may include a robust feeling of creativity, increased imagination and sense of well-being, productivity and monetary gain.

WRITE every day. You might have more than one project you’re working on; tend to at least one of them. And yes, generating ideas and spitballing is most productive and falls under this category, absolutely.

PROMOTE your material. Write and send query letters, enter competitions, follow up on calls, meetings and queries. Stay very on top of who has your material, when you’ll hear back and what new opportunities have since cropped up.

NETWORK both with other writers and with professionals where possible. If you belong to a message board about screenwriting, visit it daily seeking to build relationships. If you blog or read screenwriting blogs, visit and comment. Keep building those relationships. Are you signed up for a class? How about a one hour Learning Annex course? Is there a festival or film community gathering in two weeks? Sign up. Continually seek opportunities large and small to create, sustain and nurture relationships with other writers and filmmaking aspirants of any stripe. Networking is extraordinarily powerful. It is impossible to overstate that fundamental truth.

LEARN more about the craft and the business constantly. Follow the trades. If the Hollywood Reporter or Variety are too much to absorb regularly, read Entertainment Weekly – a quasi-trade with pull-quotes, box office and celebrity news. Subscribe to Creative Screenwriting, Script Magazine or Written By. Sign up for classes, read books and see a lot of movies.

LIVE WELL by taking care of your essential core. We writers are sensitive souls. We pour our hearts out every day. So be sure to exercise, get enough sleep, meditate or in some way return to your creative, essential self so that you can sustain and nurture the energy required to do steps one through four above. This one cannot be overstated or over-emphasized either. A burnt out writer doesn’t produce good material and isn’t fun to hang around with. Put your wellbeing before all else because everything you produce flows outward from that.

Why just today I had a business meeting with an investor and very successful businessman. As a small business owner do I get to whine in my coffee and say oh gee, I don’t know how to write a business plan or think about LLCs and taxes? No. I do not have that luxury. When I have conversations with agents, managers or producers do I get to say oh gee, I don’t know about what spec sold last week or how many movies Fox produced last year? No, I do not. Well – I do. At my own peril. And you do not have the luxury of ignorance either. Remember – you ARE a business. And your business in-sources to create product. Which you wish to sell. Right?

Then get busy livin’ or get busy dyin’ because if you don’t take the time and trouble to learn the business end of things in this industry, you might as well put your script in a trunk in the attic when you’re done.

Now get back to work.

Pitch Perfect

Day two of the Fade In Pitch Fest concluded yesterday and boy, was it a long day for everybody! I think heard as many pitches as some of the agents, managers and producers there, just in a different context. I was so proud of the many writers who I had counseled the day before to be more upbeat and personable, who took that advice with aplomb and had many successful pitches.

Here’s my take on pitch fests. If you have the disposable income to do this type of thing, I think it can be a fun way to network, meet other writers and industry professionals and practice pitching your story over and over again. If you are like most of us, on a more limited budget and you have to carefully choose how and where you spend your money, I’d honestly recommend spending that money on professional notes over pitching. Maybe you can afford to do both. Booyah for you and have a cupcake.

Let’s clear something up: Yes the people who come to hear your pitches are lower level executives. Of course they are. This. Is not. A bad. Thing. Let me repeat that – it’s not bad that lower level baby execs and even assistants go to hear your pitches. Because what does mama always say? Today’s assistant is tomorrow’s executive. One drawback is that sometimes these lower level pitch recipients do appear to be about twelve. Which can be off-putting. Sometimes their social skills are not quite where they will be in some time. Meaning that if they are bored by your pitch, some can actually be a bit obvious and rude about that. Pay no mind – that’s about them, not you. Others are enthusiastic and dying to find a good story so they can get the promotion they are gunning for. Are there good pitches at pitch fests? Yes, of course there are. I heard, over both days, probably about six pitches that sounded really great to me. I would definitely be interested in reading the scripts.

If you do decide to go to a pitch fest (I believe that the upcoming CS Expo, starting on November 12th usually has a pitch fest as part of the festivities) here’s your check list:

Bring a one-sheet
Have a great, pithy, compelling logline ready to go*
Bring business cards
Do not pass out artistic effluvia related to your script
Dress casually but nicely; do make some effort. Brush your hair and teeth**
Do some breathing exercises, drink coffee – whatever it takes to be both relaxed and ON
Practice a couple of days in advance then stop practicing so much so you sound natural
Relax; if you make a mistake, smile, back up and do it again. It’s really okay
Don’t take rejection personally; just get back in line and do it again
Do collect contact information if you have a good pitch
Send thank you notes a couple of days later. Make them brief and gracious

Are pitch fests worth it? Well – I cannot say one way or the other, definitively. If you can afford it, if it’s something you enjoy doing and if you have a great script that’s really, really ready to pitch, sure, I suppose it’s worth it. You can also query your material the old fashioned way, throughout most of the year. I’ve been to three pitch fests since June and I have noticed a high rate of return. In other words, I have seen some of the same people at all three. Is this because these writers are very successful at this or is it because, like Trekkies, they are devoted fans of these types of gatherings? I don’t know and I’m not sure I should go there.

All right everybody, get back to work and have a Monday cupcake on me. I’m a happy girl because I just discovered that I apparently own some crazily valuable rare books so today after I get my reading and notes done, I’ll be researching how to sell them. If any Wavers are rare book appraisers, or know a great one, be in touch.

*I was shocked by how many writers either did not have a logline at all or who had overlong, confusing, not great loglines and knew it.

**It’s not for nothing that I make the hair and teeth comment. In the spirit of kindness, that’s all I’m going to say.

Writers Wanted – Apply Within

Talk about zeitgeist. The tension in the air is palpable; a historic presidential election is less than three weeks away, the US economy is teetering on the brink of disaster, the war in Iraq drones on endlessly in the background and the impact of global warming has made itself so plain that even die hard fantasists have had to abandon refutations. LA is burning, hurricane season looms, the Dodgers are losing and the most optimistic of us are wondering if a potato with pipe cleaner arms and legs might make a rustic Christmas gift this year instead of the usual mall-bought offerings.

When things are in upheaval, it all seems very urgent and dire. One has two choices; to fall prey to the weapons of mass distraction – the media – and get whipped up into a foamy froth of fear or to be more circumspect, stay the course and let the drama pass. Because it is drama. All of this uncertainty is terrific media fodder and the older you are the more notches on the belt you have of when things felt apocalyptic but then resolved themselves in the end. So you get a lot less whipped up. It’s a matter of where you choose to put your attention. On a personal level, you may choose to be more circumspect and not allow your attention to be dominated by fear-based media or you may choose to allow this stuff to create excitement and drama in your life. But there is a third way. Use this whipped up zeitgeist to inspire your writing.

Become an observer, predictor and mirror for what’s on the collective mind.

Writers are the lightning rods for zeitgeist. Writers write about hope and change as much as they write about fear, doubt and blame. We are the collective mirror because we are mascots for humanity armed with pen and paper. We are documentarians. We are the world. Okay I couldn’t resist that last one but you get my point.

Writers everywhere are distinguished from other, normal people because we feel compelled to share our hopes, dreams and fears through story telling. I often complain about the sameness of bad scripts. But what I don’t often talk about (and I should) is the endless cornucopia of new thoughts and ideas I see in that vast middle-ground – okay scripts by writers who have graduated from absolute newbie with egregious errors, to the more intermediate level of screenwriter. It is at this level that many writers get stuck for a long time. But it is here that I am blown away by the incredible variety of expression.

Everybody wants to tell a story and to express themselves in a script these days. If you catch me in a cranky mood, I grumble about how everyone thinks they can write. But if you catch me in a more observant, reflective mood, I think it quite striking that so many are overflowing with so much to say. And I’m amazed by what I see going on in the zeitgeist of writers themselves.

I have seen a tremendous number of CRASH-like, moody ensembles which are in essence, bitter-sweet ruminations about the human condition but mostly anchored with a great sense of loneliness, isolation and confusion. Some writers are feeling invisible, impotent and frustrated. I see a lot of playful fantasy and romantic comedy scripts. Some writers are feeling hopeful, playful and optimistic and are writing escapist scripts. I see terribly cynical, hardboiled crime and horror scripts. Some writers are feeling jaded, helpless and hopeless.

Hollywood has a storied and dysfunctional relationship with writers and everybody knows it. It’s like a dramatic tango – I love you! I hate you! I need you! I despise you! I can’t live without you!

But mark my words, without the great influx of your scripts to Hollywood, the industry would grind to a halt. An entire sub-strata of the entertainment business is built on what’s on your mind. Screenwriting services, software, magazines and events all lure screenwriters to Hollywood. Because without you and what’s on your mind, the well would run dry. As much as it feels like trying to break into Hollywood is like talking to the hand, there’s actually a great need for you and what you’re writing. Future generations await hearing your stories. It’s the great catch-22 of screenwriting – it’s almost impossible to break in and yet vast amounts of writers are needed so that those nuggets can be found. It’s panning for gold. Entire hillsides have to be exploded, sifted and searched over for those golden nuggets of stories that have not been told before in a particular way.

Writers are where it all begins. The fact is, you are needed more now than ever. And it is only through repetition, practice, education, feedback and sheer determination that you’ll wind up in somebody’s mesh sifter – I got one! I got a good one! Absolutely everybody in Hollywood drools at the thought of finding that great script. Everybody.

I recently spoke to an A-list writer who is looking to executive produce. He asked me to please pass on great scripts when I come upon them. Somebody is going to get very, very lucky – if I find that great script. That great script might come from me or it might come from somebody else – but I obviously have a vested interest if that person is me. People keep telling me to manage writers and I balk; I know very well the uphill battle it can be to get a project sold. Can I do that for a writer? Do I know enough people? Could I actually make a decent living panning for gold? I have decided to take on one proto-client to try it out.

Everyone would like to find that great comedy, that sweeping epic or that totally mind-blowing sci-fi script. Where are these great scripts? And what is the mechanism for vetting them? How many mediocre scripts have to be read until that one diamond in the rough is found? A diamond that I can get other people excited about? That’s what all managers grapple with. And the sheer number of script submissions that aren’t ready for prime time make them cranky which is why writers get that talk-to-the-hand vibe from Hollywood.

But the truth is, you got the goods, not us. Hollywood is like a steam engine, chugging along and it needs coal – scripts – shoveled into its gaping maw. A lot of coal. Every day.

So as much as this whole screenwriting thing seems like a long shot, know this: despite appearances, Hollywood has a sign hung around it that says: Writers Wanted, Apply Within.

I was sent a preview of a new documentary underway about the spec script market. I found it totally inspiring. Also, my friend Bob makes a brief appearance. Go Bob!