Just Effing Entertain Me

From Idea to the Page to the Statistic

The thing with me is that I am pretty straightforward. I like to get to the heart of the matter. I really do. I have grown impatient with effluvia and excess verbiage. The more I travel the more I appreciate being an American and the way we like to cowboy our way straight into conversations.

I may have mentioned briefly and lightly that along with a couple of partners, I am looking at setting up a production company. It’s early days – this is why I haven’t made a formal announcement – but resultingly, as I speak with investors and colleagues, I get asked about the flow of scripts I see at The Script Department and the Silver Screenwriting Competition. And as I have had to really look at that flow of creativity and what comprises it, I have come to grips with some startling and hilarious stats:

If I see 1,000 scripts, there are, within that pile, maybe three to five that are worth discussing. And of that three to five, maybe two that look like viable projects. Wow, right?!

So what’s going on with the other 995 scripts culled from the general screenwriting public? Well, those would fall under categories about like this:

1) written in crayon
2) car wrecks
3) benign sleeping aid

Written in Crayon:
These are scripts that contain egregious errors. Language, grammar, spelling plus the story is totally weird and confusing. These are scripts written ostensibly in a basement in-between violent video games OR from the subway or Burger King after a particularly bad breakup or firing. This category generally includes Grand Guignol, screeds, rants and whining at length. This would comprise about 20% of 1000 submitted scripts.

Car Wrecks
These are flights of fancy, caffeine-fueled journeys into the psychedelic cobwebs of every movie you’ve ever seen because you love movies, maaaaan! No, you don’t use Final Draft, no, you haven’t read a book or taken a class but shit, you love Quentin Tarantino, and movies put you in in this like, reverie, and you had this THING happen when you were in the OUTBACK last year (okay it was a dream) that would make an AWESOME movie! This would account for a whopping 60% of submitted scripts.

Benign Sleeping Aid
This is a pretty good script. You know. It’s nice. Stuff happens. And. The characters were – you know what – good try! You know what – I think it’s a GREAT idea you’ve tried to write a script and I tell you what, it’s better than MOST other scripts and that is a mathematical FACT! I liked the montage where the happy couple has their honeymoon and……ZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzz. Oh my god, I’m so sorry. I fell asleep. This makes up about 15% of submitted scripts.

Then there are the rest. That top 5% or so. Which are original, transcendent, memorable, elegant and which actually could be a movie. But of that 5%, we do bump into the writers who insist that they and only they direct the movie. Or who make otherwise bad business moves about the script. Which leaves us with two or three with which to work.

You think you’ve never been in these categories but you have – most likely in the benign sleeping aid category. And look – I have too. It’s the normal, natural path of writers to traverse this landscape. And as I say in my classes, you can’t go over it, you can’t go around it – ya gots to go through it. But leave the land of the Lotus Eaters (read: denial) behind you and develop an awareness of what your script is really bringing to the table.

In my workshops, I hear some of the BEST ideas – I mean – every SINGLE class I teach I hear at least four or five ideas that get me REALLY excited to see the movie. At least. In my last class in San Francisco there were two great ideas and one in particular that I would kick down the door to see at the theater. WOW.

Now the question is, can the writers then execute the idea in a way that presents that story in an exciting, riveting, compelling, unique and original way? And I mean – I’m saying that format and execution are a GIVEN. I won’t even speak to the absence of those nuts and bolts because unless I’m distinctly on the topic, I waste your time or patronize you. You know you know what I mean.

Which category are you in? Do you have a great idea? Do you have a script worth a discussion among partners at a nascent production company looking to get investors and produce a movie? If the answer is no, you’re not at that point, that is A-okay with me. But you need an awareness of where you are, where you’re going and what it takes to come out on top.

It’s more than LOVING your story. It’s more than the cool music you listened to while writing. It’s not about you, at all, it’s about the story. And it’s hard to create enough distance to really stand back and make that assessment.

In every workshop I teach, at least one person comes away with the sad realization that what they’re writing or working on is not in fact a good story but about some breakup or firing. At least one. At least a couple of people realize that with some work, some new ideas and about 18 cups of coffee their pretty good idea is actually FANtastic. And of course, there are always a few people who, even with gentle hints and glazed over eyes, continue on their merry way and god love ‘em. You can bring a horse to water. Dance monkey, dance. And all of those other weird mixed metaphors that I like to use. It’s the cake, not the frosting. Eat your vegetables.

And here’s a cupcake with a flower on it since mama may have said things today you didn’t want to hear. That should make it aalll better.

Just Effing Workshops

Good morning, everyone! So I’m finally back from my travels, very much inspired and renewed by the fantastic students I encountered along the way. What fun we had, in every group, every time. It was the first time I have taught the Ménage à Flaw and the WWYD question and the Theme Finder, and the reaction of the students was phenomenal. In fact, London has started up the first ever Just Effing writing group! I feel like a proud mother! You guys KNOW I will come visit, right?

Speaking of proud mother, here are just a very few of the comments I received:

Julie knocked my socks off in terms of content, skills and tools and such a great attitude. A wealth of information and so inspiring! – R.D.

Excellent workshop – probably the best I’ve ever taken on the subject of screenwriting. – C.L.

The class simplified the art of structure (my biggest weakness) greatly for me, so if anyone else struggles with the same issue, I’d recommend! – C.C.

This was a great weekend that stripped away the pretentious analysis of screenwriting, focusing on SIMPLE, PRACTICAL ADVICE. Very refreshing…The pitching exercises and advice about breaking into Hollywood were frank and realistic too. – G.P.

Two days is too short! I wanted more! – C.D.

A well-encompassing, meaningful, intensive refresher that allowed me to refocus and really concentrate on my script. – D.B.

I really enjoyed the weekend with Julie. She is friendly and passionate about what she is doing. She made me dream again about the scripts I had shelved. – V.M.

Julie, you are a gifted teacher who conveys information with clarity and enthusiasm. I also like how you encourage without setting people up with completely unrealistic expectations.  – M.R.

Julie rocks! I feel SO inspired to create and I feel lucky to have benefited from her enthusiasm and wisdom! – R.S.

Julie is an energetic and positive advocate for the writer and offered solutions for problems that are practical and easy to use. – J.H.

I liked getting a packet to bring back and work with afterwards as well as one-on-one feedback. I came with actually feeling that I accomplished some progress on my script this weekend. – A.A.

This workshop was top notch! Julie helps strengthen the skills of the new screenwriter. This was definitely a heavenly experience!! – B.A.

Don’t forget there are classes coming up on April 17th and 18th in Chicago, April 24th and 25th in LA (at the Writers Store) and May 1st and 2nd in San Francisco. Classes are filling up rather quickly and the price is OH so right – $200 for both days. So if you’re interested, better sign up ASAP to get a spot.